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| | Madonna to Marry Jesus | | Added 15 years ago | Source: Yeeeah |
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No, this isn’t a Dan Brown gospel revisionist story of incest, we’re talking about the Madge reportedly preparing to tie the red string knot with her model boy toy, Jesus Luz. NineMSN reports,
Never mind their ultra-Catholic monikers - Madonna and toyboy lover Jesus Luz are reportedly planning on sealing the deal Kabbalah style!
The Mirror report the pair are planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony in New York, with Jesus ditching his Catholic faith in favour of his sugar mama’s religion of choice.
He’s been snapped going to Kabbalah classes since the start of the year, and has been a massive support to Madge lately - she’s said to be shattered after her failed bid to adopt three-year-old Malawi tot Mercy James.
The pair were rumoured to have split during Madge’s adoption attempt, but apparently they were just chilling out on the relationship side of things while Madonna concentrated on trying to adopt the little girl.
?They are totally besotted with each other and he?s really helped Madonna through this tough time,” a source told The Mirror of Jesus and Madonna’s lurve.
“It wasn?t that the relationship went off the boil, it was more a matter of Madonna wanting to concentrate on her adoption bid of Mercy and they wanted to keep a low profile while that became the main focus.?
?Madonna was devastated when the adoption was rejected the first time but now she wants to lavish some attention on Jesus and she?s keen to make sure they have a solid relationship for all the children?s sakes.?
Madonna’s kids Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight, and David, three, are apparently fond of their mum’s new friend.
?Lourdes teases him by calling him The Babysitter, because he is so young,” said the source. “She likes him, but loves to wind him up.?
Oh yes, it’s going to be all rosy until Lourdes grows up into a beautiful young woman and then Jesus will start canoodling with her, and then Madonna will shapeshift into a harpy, rip poor Lourdes to shreds, pluck out Jesus’ eyes and inhale his gonads. The End.
Jesus and Madonna in her stupid Marc Jacobs Met Costume Gala getup. Looks like she’s trying to hold her head on or something.
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| | Will Madonna & 'babysitter' Jesus have Kabbalah commitment ceremony' | | Added 15 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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It?s true love between Madonna and Jesus Luz. The two are planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony in New York, according to the British newspaper The Mirror. The claim is that Jesus adores Madonna and her kids, and Jesus has fully committed himself to the teachings of Kabbalah, eschewing his Catholic faith.
It?s the truest sign that Madonna is serious about a relationship when she starts taking her man to the Kabbalah center. Jesus immediately took to the center, joining Madge and her kids almost as soon as he and Madonna became an item. The Mirror also claims that when Madonna and Jesus seemed to split just before she flew off to Malawi (where she was rejected by the court in her attempt to adopt Mercy James), Madonna and Jesus were actually playing us. They were still together, Madonna just wanted to seem more motherly and less like a fame-hungry 50-year-old with a contractually-obligated boy-toy:
Madonna and her toyboy lover Jesus are planning a “commitment ceremony” in New York. The queen of pop and Brazilian model Jesus Luz will take part in a service in front of a rabbi at the Kabbalah Centre in Manhattan.
Friends said Madonna, 50, and the 22- year-old model decided they wanted to take a new step in their relationship after her bid to adopt a Malawi orphan failed. Jesus has already converted from Catholicism to the Kabbalah religion as a mark of his commitment to the singer.
Earlier this year he was spotted joining Madonna at the Kabbalah centre with her daughter Lourdes and David Banda, her adopted son from Malawi.
The Brazilian model has been to a series of classes since the beginning of the year to teach him about the faith, which is based on Judaism There had been rumours the couple had split before Madonna flew out to Malawi in a bid to adopt three-year old Mercy James.
But friends said Madonna, who adopted David Banda from the same country three years ago, returned to New York last month and has been seen at restaurants across the city with Jesus.
He was also Madonna’s escort at a major fashion show in New York last week. A source said: “They are totally besotted with each other and he’s really helped Madonna through this tough time. It wasn’t that the relationship went off the boil, it was more a matter of Madonna wanting to concentrate on her adoption bid of Mercy and they wanted to keep a low profile while that became the main focus.?
“Madonna was devastated when the adoption was rejected the first time but now she wants to lavish some attention on Jesus and she’s keen to make sure they have a solid relationship for all the children’s sakes.”
Madonna first met Jesus on the set of an X-rated photo shoot for W magazine. Jesus was semi-naked and the pair were snapped kissing on a bed in a hotel room.
Though they kept their relationship on a lower profile during the adoption bid, the pair have been regularly photographed out together in New York since.
Jesus has already been accepted by the star’s children Lourdes, 12, eight year-old Rocco and David, three. The source said: “Lourdes teases him by calling him The Babysitter, because he is so young. She likes him, but loves to wind him up.”
[From The Mirror]
So is actually true love? Doubt it. And I doubt Madge would want any part of any sort of religious or legal binding of her and Jesus. She just paid out a hefty sum to Guy Ritchie - she doesn?t want to part with any more money. Madonna and Jesus are probably quite happy with the way things are. With Jesus as ?The Babysitter?. Is it just me, or does it sound like Jesus is spending more time with Lola than Madonna? Lola is obviously close enough to Jesus to tease him - not surprising. And Jesus and Lola are closer in age than he and Madge, by a long shot. Hmm… interesting. Could it be the boy-toy is nothing more than a glorified babysitter?
Here?s Madonna and Jesus out together in New York on February 1st. Images thanks to Splash.
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| | Madonna hires $1k a week English tutor for Jesus | | Added 15 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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We all know what exacting standards Madonna has for everyone in her life. Not only must you be above perfection to be in her employ, but the same holds for anyone she dates. You must be a prime physical specimen, of a highly desirable age (preferably half her own), and capable of extended bouts of Madge worship. Oh, and you must speak the Queen?s English. Or at least you must speak better than Jesus Luz apparently does.
Madonna has shelled out a whopping $1,000 a week to improve Luz?s English. No ESL schools that advertise on the subway for her.
What’s Portuguese for “sugar mama”? Frustrated by her Brazilian boyfriend’s iffy English, Madonna has hired an English tutor for Jesus Luz!
“She’s paying more than $1,000 per week for him to learn English,” a source says. But it’s a small price to pay for bridging the language - generation! - gap.
[From Star; May 18, 2009, print ed.]
Out of sheer curiosity, I wonder if it had ever occurred to Madonna to consider learning Portuguese? Perhaps a nice compromise, and she and Jesus could meet in the middle? Of course Madge is not known for her ability to compromise. And something tells me that between her vigorous workout routines and eating 750 calories a day, she?s a pretty busy woman. I doubt she could fit in the tutoring to learn. Which really leaves the ball in Jesus? court.
I knew there were perks to dating Madonna, but I thought they mostly had to do with lavish clothes and nice hotels. Who knew language improvement and accent reduction were part of the package?
Here are Jesus and Madonna at the Costume Institute Gala on Monday in New York. Images thanks to WENN.com .
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| | Russians fearful of Madonna's upcoming concert | | Added 15 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Surprisingly, the Russians aren?t really enthused about Madonna coming to their country to perform a loud ? and one could assume raunchy ? concert. Madge is scheduled to perform in St. Petersburg in August ? right in front of the Hermitage Museum. And the museum?s director is going all-out old school in his attacks, practically bitching about kids and sex and rock and roll in his hissy fit over Madonna?s concert.
Madonna is planning a concert in the main square of St. Petersburg, Russia, home of the Hermitage Museum, in August. Local authorities — the ones who haven’t yet been bribed — are up in arms, branding the event a “natural disaster,” and the museum’s director Dr. Mikhail Piotrovski said, “We want guarantees that there will be no blasphemy.” Maybe Madge should think twice about wearing those ugly horns she sported Monday night at the Met. Piotrosvki will also demand Madonna sign an agreement limiting volume levels.
[From Page Six]
I?m thinking there might have been a little translation issue with the whole ?natural disaster? comment. Though the NY Post seems to be having a good time poking fun at it. Perhaps Piotrovski meant ?natural? disaster? Or was simply trying to convey that ? to him ? this is a huge, huge debacle in the making.
I?m wondering what kind of guarantees he wants about the blasphemy. Blasphemy is one of those terms that I wouldn?t trust to Madonna?s definition. He might want to get that n writing. And really? what right does a museum director have to tell Madonna what to do? It?s in front of his museum, not inside it. I?m sure the Russian government will be all over her with rules, but why does this guy think he gets to dictate her show?
Regardless, I wouldn?t really trust Madonna to stick to the rules. Even at half a century old, she?s still a rebellious teenager. You tell her not to do something? she?s going to do it, and twice as big as she would have otherwise.
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| | Madonna's bunny-eared Met Costume Gala outfit cost $8805 | | Added 15 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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We spend a lot of time mocking Madonna, but one thing we should always remember is that Madonna is very, very good at keeping herself in the news. Whether Madge is trotting around with boy-toy Jesus Luz, trying to adopt a Malawian girl, or just showing up to an event looking ridiculous, Madonna stays in the news. It?s as if headlines are the only things that sustain her, that good or bad press is no matter, it?s only about the attention.
Her outfit at the Metropolitan Costume Gala on Monday night is what’s sustaining her currently. While everyone seemed to look at Madonna and think ?What is on that poor cracked-out grandmother?s head??, Madonna knew she had a winning outfit. People are still talking about the puffy, ugly Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton dress she wore, as well as her accessories. Like the thigh-high leather platform boots, and the horrible teal headpiece/hat/bunny ears/whatever. Page Six compiled the prices of each piece, and the total price tag for Madonna?s outfit is a stunning $8805. The ?bunny ears? alone cost $350!
For $8,805, you, too, can look like a cross between a medieval dominatrix and Bugs Bunny.
Wearing thigh-high boots, a blue minidress topped off with matching blue little girl’s rabbit ears, Madonna (left & right) stunned a crowd — including fashion industry honchos, Hollywood celebs and business leaders who could still afford a $7,500 ticket — at Monday night’s Costume Institute gala at the Met.
These wacky photos show Madge looking feisty and fierce in her $2,696 frock, $3,784 leather footwear and $350 velvet ears. Completing the rabbit motif were $770 lambskin gloves studded with baubles of unknown carats.
She carried a Monogram Paillettes pocketbook that sells for a mere $1,205.
Taking credit, or responsibility, for her outfit was Marc Jacobs who designed it for French luxury label Louis Vuitton.
Madonna’s fashion choice fascinated the media. New York magazine’s Web site said she showed up “looking like a cleaning lady moonlighting as a stripper who washed her Xanax down with one too many margaritas before she changed outfits.”
But it called her appearance “a genius, if not very attractive, fashion moment for her . . . Because on a night dedicated to the world’s most beautiful women, no one — especially a nonmodel — could win by trying to look the most beautiful.”
The Los Angeles Times Web site said Madonna looked “ready for Neverland” and asked, “does she look like the love child of Tinkerbell and Captain Hook?”
Madonna had some competition for worst dressed: Kate Moss in her gold lam turban, toga and face paint, looked like Norma Desmond if she were still alive and well and clinging to the ’60s in Miami Beach.
[From Page Six]
She definitely loves the attention. She is probably listening to all of the criticism, and thinking to herself ?those peasants don?t understand high fashion like I do?. If you have to ?explain? your outfit, perhaps you should be wearing something else, though. However, I doubt Madonna actually paid the $8805 for the outfit, it was probably entirely borrowed or given to her. Would you wear that, even if it was free?
Images thanks to WENN.com .
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| | Mercy's father doesn't like Madonna's getup | | Added 15 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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The father of Mercy James, James Kambewa, who has never met his daughter says the outfit Madonna wore at the Costume Institute Gala is proof enough that she isn’t fit to adopt his daughter. Once again, the daughter he’s never seen. James snapped his fingers and said:
?I cannot imagine how this woman can want to be the mother of my Mercy.
?This can?t be a woman of 50. A teenage woman would feel ashamed in that gear.
?A woman is supposed to be a role model for her daughters.
?What morals can a woman of 50 have, who has no qualms in showing her delicate parts and displaying herself like that in front of her children?
?I don?t want my daughter anywhere near such a moral-less person.?
By delicate parts, I think he’s referring to her thigh. And in some strange way, I agree with him. Madonna shouldn’t be revealing any of her gnarled body parts. It’s disturbing and an affront to humanity.
Still, James isn’t one to talk. Later on he was asked to pick his daughter from a line-up. He chose an ox. Told that this was not his daughter, James, licking his lips, asked, “I still get to keep her, right?”
More Photos Here
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| | Madonna is fashionable | | Added 15 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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I can’t even begin to explain what’s going on here. Madonna also showed up at the Constume Institute Gala at The Met but managed to look more ridiculous than Rihanna. She looks like a kid who rummaged through mommy’s closet. What the hell is that on her head? Rabbit ears for a TV set? Madonna is an idiot. But I’m not going to say that to her face. She looks really strong.
More Photos Here
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| | Where do you start with what Madonna is wearing? | | Added 15 years ago | Source: Seriously OMG WTF |
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WireImage
So where do you start with what Madonna is wearing? You just skip to finished. There is nothing nice to say about the whole overall look, but thankfully I am not wearing it.
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| | Wisdom, Thy Name is Kambewa | | Added 15 years ago | Source: Yeeeah |
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James Kambewa, the father of the little girl that Madonna is trying to steal for her supper adopt, spoke up against her fitness to be a mother. I hope he has a silver bullet handy, she may come for him next. Digital Spy reports,
James Kambewa, the father of four-year-old Mercy James, has accused Madonna of not portraying good morals.
Madonna attempted to adopt the child in Malawi last month, but her application was denied by the authorities in that country.
The pop superstar is said to be confident about the prospects of overturning this ruling at an appeal on Monday.
Kambewa told the Daily Mail: “Madonna has millions of dollars but that doesn’t make her a good mum. Parental love is more than money.
“Besides, I don’t think Madonna is a model mum. I have seen her in movies of her songs. She doesn’t portray good morals.”
He added: “How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? I wouldn’t want my daughter to grow up like that! In Malawi women respect themselves. Cultured women do not go about half-naked.
“I also heard after her marriage failed she is already seeing two men, both very younger than her and her ex-husband. I hear one of them is even less than half her age. That’s scandalous. How can a normal woman fall for a boy who can as well be her son? No, spare my Mercy that scandal.”
I love it that some pauper in a third world country has more good sense than the idiots who would willingly give a child to Madonna’s “care”. But I’d watch your back, James. It wouldn’t surprise me if he suddenly “disappeared” for daring to speak against The Madge.
Madge, the fam, Jesus Luz and a manny arriving at the Kabbalalalalah Centre:
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| | Mercy's dad tries to block Madonna's adoption, calls her 'scandalous' | | Added 15 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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An appeal will be heard in Madonna’s rejected bid to adopt three year-old Mercy James on May 4. Madonna is not expected to be present at the hearing in Malawi and her case is thought to be weak despite government support. The 50 year-old singer is single now and she also has to contend with objections from Mercy’s living grandmother and father. Mercy’s father has written a letter to the Human Rights Consultative Committee, the organization which appealed to the government to deny Madonna’s adoption, asking for a lawyer to help him claim custody of his daughter. What’s more is that Mercy’s dad has harsh words for Madonna and doesn’t want Mercy around that lifestyle, if you believe the quotes in the Daily Mail.
James Kambewa, 24, said he wanted to spare his three-year-old daughter Mercy a life of ’scandal’ with a woman he claimed lacks ‘good morals’.
Mr Kambewa, who has never met his daughter after walking out on her mother when she was pregnant, has written a letter to lawyers asking for a permanent injunction against Madonna adopting her.
Speaking exclusively to the Daily Mail last night, Mr Kambewa, who earns just 23 a month as a security guard, insisted he would give his daughter a good home.
Mercy has been living in an orphanage since her mother died.
‘She is my daughter; she is my blood; she needs parental love,’ he said. ‘She is not an orphan. She lost one parent, yes, but I am still alive and so she is not an orphan.
‘Madonna has millions of dollars but that doesn’t make her a good mum. Parental love is more than money.’
He added: ‘Besides, I don’t think Madonna is a model mum. I have seen her in movies of her songs. She doesn’t portray good morals.
‘How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? I wouldn’t want my daughter to grow up like that! In Malawi women respect themselves. Cultured women do not go about half-naked.
‘I also heard after her marriage failed she is already seeing two men, both very younger than her and her ex-husband. I hear one of them is even less than half her age. That’s scandalous. How can a normal woman fall for a boy who can as well be her son? No, spare my Mercy that scandal.’
A court has already denied Madonna, 50, the chance to adopt Mercy, but she is said to be ‘ confident’ of overturning that ruling at an appeal next Monday.
She had hoped it would succeed on the basis she has the backing of Mercy’s immediate family, including her grandmother Lucy Chekichiwa and her uncle Peter Baneti. That, however, was before Mr Kambewa’s intervention.
He is enlisting the help the Human Rights Consultative Committee, a group of organisations which have campaigned against Madonna’s adoption bid.
In a hand-written letter to the HRCC legal team, headed ‘ Claiming the right to raise a child’, he said: ‘I have learnt that an American-musician called Madonna has applied to a court for the adoption of the kid, to which the grandmother has consented.
Madonna holds her adopted son David as they meet with the boy’s biological father, Yohane Banda, during her visit to Malawi in March
‘However, I do not consent to the adoption because I feel I am capable of raising the child.’
Mr Kambewa met Mercy’s mother Mwandida Maunde when she was 15. They fell in love and Mwandida became pregnant.
But Mr Kambewa denied responsibility for the child and disappeared. He has pledged to take a DNA test to prove he is the father.
‘I regret I haven’t been around for Mercy for the past three years,’ he said. ‘She shouldn’t have been at the orphanage if I was around.
‘I regret my childishness. I hope the appeal fails so that I assume my rightful role as Mercy’s dad.’
The HRCC confirmed it had received his letter and will decide whether to appoint a lawyer for him.
[From The Daily Mail]
Many people are going to say “Sure this guy wants to claim his daughter now. Where was he for three years?” According to an earlier story we covered, James had to flee his village out of disgrace when he got Mercy’s mom, then 15, pregnant. That’s not an excuse for not contacting his daughter in that time but we have no idea what his life was like or how difficult it must be to live in that kind of poverty. If he wants to care for his daughter he has every right to. Hopefully he’s earnest about it and really does want to give her a loving home. Mercy’s grandmother has also publicly spoken out about the adoption and she may have changed her stance but I think the Daily Mail is incorrect here when they say she supports it. Lucy Chekechiwa told the press that she wants her granddaughter Mercy to return home to live with her once she reaches the age of six, which is when she’s expected to have developed immunity to malaria and other childhood diseases.
Madonna and Jesus are shown outside Kabbalah on 4/25/09. Credit: WENN.com. There’s also a letter that Mercy’s dad wrote to appeal for help with his daughter.
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