| | |  | Gwyneth Paltrow News & Gossip
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow is bored with acting, wants to be the next Jessica Simpson | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow must be feeling antsy. Despite her high-class, jet-setting, enormously expensive lifestyle, a “rock star” husband, a spot on the (gulp) New York Times bestselling list, and a (at this point) moderately successful career as an actress, Goop just isn’t satisfied with life. To be entirely truthful, I knew something was amiss when Gwyneth announced that she wasn’t detoxing for the New Year, so she must not really be feeling like herself.
It turns out that something is wrong in Goop’s life. Goop is feeling very underwhelmed by life on film sets lately — even though she’s only really been in those Iron Man movies and that terrible Country Strong over the past handful of years. Personally, I think Goop is upset that no one treats her like the “it girl” anymore in Hollywood, so she’s decided to voluntarily “cut back” on acting. What will she do instead? She’ll grow her Goop website, and she eventually wants to have an empire as big as — get this — Jessica Simpson. Yes, Gwyneth wants to be more like the former singer that Kaiser lovingly refers to as “Farty.” Goop wants to make a ton of money selling useless crap like Jessica does on a daily basis. Here we go:
Gwyneth Paltrow is giving up showbiz for, well, business. A source says that after the 33 Dias actress wraps her next few films, she will focus on growing her lifestyle website, Goop, and the fitness company she co-owns with trainer Tracy Anderson.
Paltrow is hoping to emulate the career of another multitalented star: Jessica Simpson! “She admires Jessica’s empire,” the source says of the Academy Award winner, 40. “She wants to make a killing.”
The two-time cookbook author’s rep says she has no plans to give up acting altogether, telling the Feb. 25 issue of Us Weekly, “She won’t quit acting. Her plan is to do one, maybe two supporting parts a year.”
Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”
[From Us Weekly]
Okay, I’ll play ball. Let’s say that there’s something to the theory that winning a Best Actress Oscar so early in life left Goop with very litle incentive to develop herself as an actress. After her Academy Award success, she really took a nosedive though even though she was trying to do passion projects. Did you see Sylvia, which was supposed to be arthouse Goop? She was atrocious in that movie, and so was Daniel Craig (don’t tell Kaiser I said that) as Ted Hughes. So I guess it’s easier for Goop to admit that she’s lost her taste for acting instead of possibly admitting that her Oscar was a fluke, and maybe she really wasn’t cut out to be an actress in the long term.
Seriously though, if she really wants to be like Jessica Simpson, Goop is going about it all wrong. Abandoning her New Year cleansing ritual this year after going to all of the (non-)trouble of relabeling another company’s product as a Goop-branded colon cleanse was a big mistake. Sure it was a pricey endeavor for Goop seekers, but that sort of flatulence is priceless if you know what I mean. And this year, it’s certainly a missed opportunity for Gwyneth to “grow” her own farty empire.
Photos courtesy of WENN
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow, peasanty imposter: 'I am not on a detox, I am not on a diet.' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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On New Year?s Eve, I finally got around to writing about Gwyneth Paltrow?s second foray into cookbook-writing. For the record, I do think Gwyneth ?writes? a great deal of her cookbooks, in that those are actually her personal stories, and maybe she makes some of that food for her kids. But Gwyneth doesn?t want you to know that she?s got a co-author (Julia Turshen) or that she has a team of ?co-chefs? who are working on the actual recipes. She doesn?t want you to concentrate on that stuff because those people are peasants, and you?re buying the cookbook because of GWYNETH!!
Anyway, I bring that up because many of us were disturbed when we found out what Goop?s second cookbook was going to be about, what the ?hook? was. That hook: Gwyneth had been diagnosed with anemia, a vitamin D deficiency, and high stress levels, and her ?doctor? recommended that she eliminate coffee, alcohol, sugar, eggs, wheat, meat and processed food to heal her body. For real. She?s vitamin-deficient from all of the ?cleanses? and crazy ?diets? and then she found some quack who told her to cut out meat, wheat and eggs to remedy her maladies. And then she wrote a cookbook about it, because Gwyneth wants to give us the gift of anemia and vitamin deficiency too.
But in Goop?s latest newsletter, she tells us that unlike her typical New Year?s cleanses and crash diets, Gwyneth began this new year by eating food. PEASANT!! IMPOSTER!! J’accuse!!
Happy 2013! I am not on a detox. I am not on a diet. I know, New Year?s cleansing and all that. Not this year. Can’t do it. Maybe later in the year. Maybe in the spring. So for now, I would like to continue with my pasta and cheese, but perhaps be more mindful of ingredients. I asked my friend Dr. Frank Lipman about his list of superfoods so that I could incorporate them into my diet a bit more. If you are going to eat pasta, why not serve it with a walnut pesto (walnuts are on his list)? You get my point. We had great fun in the goop test kitchen coming up with these ways to incorporate these miraculous foods into very tasty recipes. We hope you enjoy.
Love,
gp
[From Goop]
Gwyneth goes on to recommend some dishes that are heavy on the ?superfoods? which include ?avocados, beans, blueberries, cruciferous vegetables, spinach, walnuts, wild salmon, dairy-free chocolate (in moderation) and chia seeds.? What I can?t get over, however, is Gwyneth?s mindset. She really does have such a severe eating disorder and such a significantly warped body/health image that she feels genuine GUILT and PRESSURE because she didn?t do a cleanse for the new year. She?s? defensive about eating real food! And by the way, she?s implicitly promising to ?cleanse? in a few months. And Goop?s cleanses are pretty much anorexia with some fancy fruit juices.
Gwyenth also included a photo of her kids on holiday in St. Lucia:
Photos courtesy of WENN, GOOP.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow dances onstage with Jay-Z: embarrassing or kind of cute? | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Can you believe that early January is finally here? Not only is it the New Year, but we’re coming up on the one-year anniversary of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop-branded colon cleanse! This is a momentous occasion, and I’m really crossing my fingers that not only will Goop publish next week’s newsletter with a new “collaboration” with a Dr. Junger, but finally, she’ll see the light and offer the Crispy Carrot Ginger and Luxardo Maraschino powder flavors that I previously suggested. If anyone knows anything about peasant life, it’s me, and Goop needs to listen to my suggestions. Make it happen.
At the moment, however, Gwyneth’s newsletter has been on hiatus since December 20, which is completely understandable considering that it’s the holidays, and Goop probably wants to Goop it up in the kitchen for her family and attend some fancy parties. Also, she has been videotaped dancing onstage at Jay-Z’s recent New Year’s Eve gig in Brooklyn, and the video has now gone viral. Naturally, the Mail has labeled Gwyneth’s moves as “cringeworthy” and “mum dancing,” but I’m inclined to take it easy on her because this vid is actually kind of cute. Check it out:
I don’t know. I think Goop’s little jiggle is dumb, but her little display of entitlement (“Look, I’m on stage with Jay-Z! His wife, Beyonce, is totally my BFF, and we drink wine together in bed while our children frolic in the fields adjacent to my wood-burning pizza oven”) is no where near as embarrassing as Chris Martin’s overenthusiastic “hip-hop” dancing as he shouts “Yeah!!!” I will never understand what Gwyneth sees in that guy — well, besides the posh accent and all of that money.
Photos courtesy of WENN
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow Has the Moves | | Added 12 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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If you couldn’t tell, I was being completely facetious for that title. Gwyneth Paltrow does not have any moves. Unless you count wiggling around like you need to pee and timidly waving your hand in the air while Jay-Z and Chris Martin perform Run This Townas dancing.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow in her 'punk rocker' Max Factor ad: does she pull it off' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Max Factor clearly has their work cut out for them while employing Gwyneth Paltrow as their latest downmarket spokesmodel. Last month, the cosmetics brand revealed their first of “seven sides of Gwyneth Paltrow” by painting Goop in her “writer” persona, which Goop herself basically described as a creative person who goes out to dinner in London. Yes, it was ridiculous because Gwyneth unironically failed to realize that writers spend most of their time, uh, sitting at a desk and, you know, writing. As far as the rest of Goop’s makeup personas go, I personally can’t wait to see Max Factor’s take on her “cleansing” persona. Admit it — you’re curious too.
Now Max Factor has revealed Goop’s “rock chick” persona, I guess because she’s married to a “rock star.” Yes, those quotes are there for a reason because Coldplay really isn’t “rock” music, right? But this is about makeup, and Gwyneth’s look here is essentially all about the smokey eyes. She actually looks really good with her hair all mussed up (as opposed to her usual flat-ironed tresses) like that because I can sort of see some sex appeal bubbling under the surface. I’m not really crazy about the Pink sequinned dress though.
Here’s a behind the scenes video of Gwyneth gooping it up as a punk rocker chick. Does she pull it off? Not really, but it’s better than her “writer” persona.
Photos courtesy of Max Factor
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow can 'eat most men under a table,' tries to do so in video clip: gross' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow just doesn’t stop. There’s something to be said for that level of persistence, but I feel like Goop could take a few months out of the spotlight and put her Goopy newsletters on hold, and everyone might actually miss her condescending ways. By the way, have you read the latest issue of Goop? Gwyneth basically opened a bottle of wine, surfed the web, and did a link dump. Oddly enough, that link dump does not include Celebitchy … I wonder why.
At the moment, however, today’s installment of Gwyneth Paltrow, multitasker extraordinaire (remember, she’s a writer among various other lofty pursuits), features Goop paying a visit to Jamie Oliver for a taped episode of his “Jamie & Jimmy’s Food Fight Club.” Jamie is so frenetic, but I’m glad he finally stopped calling himself “The Naked Chef” though. At a certain point, that innuendo started to get icky. He is still so full of lame gimmicks that I’m surprised Gwyneth agreed to appear on his show. Her dear friend Mario Batali would never pull this crap, right? Goop must have an ulterior motive for appealing to Jamie’s crowd, but I can’t figure out what that motive would be unless she is actually trying to impress the peasants who watch Jamie’s shows.
On this episode, Jamie allegedly makes Goop eat a hamburger, french fries, and milkshake while riding a roller coaster. Thankfully, there’s no clip available for that portion, but here is a video of Gwyneth taking the “Chubby Bunny” challenge, wherein she stuffs marshmallows in her face while repeatedly uttering, “chubby bunny.” At one point, she says, “This is gross,” and she’s correct in that statement:
So does this video make you like Goop more? I still feel like she’s looking down at as all through a face full of marshmallows. They were probably actually organic marshmallows made with vanilla extract culled from the exquisite tears of angels. I don’t doubt that Gwyneth does eat a lot of food on the regular basis though — she just exercises two full hours per day with her fraud trainer, Tracy Anderson, to get rid of it all.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow & Tracy Anderson cover Redbook, shill their weight loss | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow and her fraud trainer Tracy Anderson cover the new issue of Redbook. Isn?t Redbook too downmarket and gauche for Gwyneth? She?s so obviously slumming it with Redbook, but she must have agreed to it because she wanted to help Tracy peddle her crazy diet-and-exercise system to the peasants. And much like Tracy?s comments about pregnant women several months ago, she?s still a condescending bitch. Too harsh? This is the same woman who said, ?A lot of women use pregnancy as an excuse to let their bodies go, and that?s the worst thing. I?ve seen so many women who come to me right after (having children) with disaster bodies that have gone through hell, or they come to me years later and say, ?Oh, my body is like this because I had three kids.?? That?s how she talks about HER CLIENTS. So what does Tracy have to say about Gwyneth and vice versa?
After giving birth to daughter Apple in 2004, Gwyneth Paltrow got back in shape quickly. But after having son Moses two years later, she had trouble losing the baby weight. Enter Tracy Anderson. Without bothering to butter her up, Anderson quickly went to work on the Oscar winner.
“She was this force from the second I met her,” Paltrow, 40, tells Redbook in its January issue, on newsstands Dec. 18. “She pulled my pants off. I’ll never forget it. She was like, ‘Oh, my God, wow, I just am so surprised, because you look so good in clothes. I wasn’t expecting this.’ ”
On how Gwyneth marked her 40th birthday: “The morning of my 40th birthday, my children and husband woke me up with hugs and gifts, and I proceeded to have the best week of my life. I feel really happy being 40, now that I’m on the other side of it. There was definitely some uncomfortable anticipation. But I’m amazed at what I’ve been able to accomplish, that I’ve maintained my important relationships and have such incredible women friends, that I have two funny, beautiful children who can give me a real life. In a way, I feel like no one should make big life decisions until 40. It’s when it all starts to settle and become clear.”
Gwyneth, on the significance of her 40th birthday: “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I have the good fortune of knowing what they are. I can recognize my limitations, forgive myself, and celebrate the fact that I have made it to this important birthday with the information I need to keep making corrections.”
Anderson takes a targeted approach to weight loss, identifying areas that need work and tailoring an exercise regimen to address them. Among the tips she offers Redbook readers:
? Those with heavier thighs and hips should work their upper and lower body equally, and limit the stair-climbing workouts, lunges and spinning.
? To lift and tone your bottom, dial down the running and spinning and do more back and side leg lifts that require flexing your glutes.
? To balance out a thicker core and bust, quit the Pilates and yoga and focus instead on high-impact aerobics, planks and fast-moving arm exercises.
A catered approach worked for Paltrow. “It did such wonders for my life, my confidence, my sex life, everything,” she says.
Anderson adds: “When you feel your best, you’re more confident in bed, It’s not lights-out, under-the-covers sex. It’s more like, ‘Take a look at this!’”
[From People]
Here?s a real question, ladies. WTF? Why would PAY someone to pull your pants off and say, ?Oh, my God, wow, I just am so surprised, because you look so good in clothes. I wasn’t expecting this.? I would burst into tears and then I would probably smack that person in the face. I don?t understand why this nasty, condescending attitude is all part and parcel of Tracy?s weight loss program. I don?t understand why this is acceptable, or considered a ?funny anecdote? about Tracy and Gwyneth?s relationship. Is Goop just so far down the condescending-Mean-Girl rabbit hole that she doesn?t even understand that this is not how your trainer should speak to you?
Photos courtesy of Redbook.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to buy $52 worth of' Christmas wrapping paper?! | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow has added a special little holiday treat for the peasants this week! You know how she keeps adding to her ?Goop Collection? week after week? And all of the items are more and more ridiculous, like $270 acrylic trays and $515 sweaters and $90 white t-shirts? Yeah. Well, now you can buy all of those items for all of your (skinny) friends for Christmas, and you can wrap them in special Goop Christmas paper. Christmas goopaper!
Gwyneth joined forces with an LA stationary boutique called Sugar Paper to bring you? wrapping paper! You get four Goopy rolls of reversible wrapping paper? for $52!!!! Four rolls for $52. CB pointed out that at Sugar Paper?s site, you can see that one roll of reversible wrapping paper goes for $8. Meaning that four rolls would go for $32, meaning that you?re paying $20 extra dollars just because it?s Goopy. Oh, and you get special ?exclusively designed holiday tags.?
Maybe I?m crazy, but my Christmas-gift-wrapping situation is very, very budget. Like, I?m actually pretty good about Christmas shopping and getting most of it done by mid-December. And then on December 23rd I?m like, ?Oooooh, I totally forgot to buy wrapping paper!? so I stop by CVS or The Dollar Store and buy those $1 rolls of wrapping paper or $1 Christmas bags. Gwyneth looks down on me for being so peasanty, I know. I just don?t see the point of spending $52 on paper and gift tags! Now, I?ll go the extra mile and spend $2 on a really pretty, fancy bow. But that?s only for people I really love (like, my dog).
Photos of Gwyneth in Spain earlier this week, wearing Boss Black on a Spanish television show. Pics courtesy of WENN, Goop.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to buy $56 worth of' Christmas wrapping paper?! | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow has added a special little holiday treat for the peasants this week! You know how she keeps adding to her ?Goop Collection? week after week? And all of the items are more and more ridiculous, like $270 acrylic trays and $515 sweaters and $90 white t-shirts? Yeah. Well, now you can buy all of those items for all of your (skinny) friends for Christmas, and you can wrap them in special Goop Christmas paper. Christmas goopaper!
Gwyneth joined forces with an LA stationary boutique called Sugar Paper to bring you? wrapping paper! You get four Goopy rolls of reversible wrapping paper? for $52!!!! Four rolls for $52. CB pointed out that at Sugar Paper?s site, you can see that one roll of reversible wrapping paper goes for $8. Meaning that four rolls would go for $32, meaning that you?re paying $20 extra dollars just because it?s Goopy. Oh, and you get special ?exclusively designed holiday tags.?
Maybe I?m crazy, but my Christmas-gift-wrapping situation is very, very budget. Like, I?m actually pretty good about Christmas shopping and getting most of it done by mid-December. And then on December 23rd I?m like, ?Oooooh, I totally forgot to buy wrapping paper!? so I stop by CVS or The Dollar Store and buy those $1 rolls of wrapping paper or $1 Christmas bags. Gwyneth looks down on me for being so peasanty, I know. I just don?t see the point of spending $52 on paper and gift tags! Now, I?ll go the extra mile and spend $2 on a really pretty, fancy bow. But that?s only for people I really love (like, my dog).
Photos of Gwyneth in Spain earlier this week, wearing Boss Black on a Spanish television show. Pics courtesy of WENN, Goop.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow in black leather Hugo Boss in Madrid: pretty or peasanty? | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Sigh? don?t you sort of love it when Gwyneth Paltrow thinks outside of the (hair) box and actually does a jaunty side-part and throws away her g?damn flat-iron? She looks years younger when her hair has some body, and everything isn?t flat-ironed and middle-parted. These are photos of Goop in Madrid yesterday for the Spanish (international?) launch of Hugo Boss?s Boss Nuit Pour Femme. Gwyneth became the ?face? of the fragrance earlier this year, although it seemed like the commercials and ad campaign left without making much of an impression (because they were so? tacky and peasanty?). Goop?s dress is Hugo Boss. I kind of like her in black leather ? it makes her top-half look good. But I don?t get why it?s so baggy?
Earlier in the day, Goop appeared on a Spanish TV show called El Hormiguero, where she did an interview in Spanish, she played the guitar and sang AND she cooked an omelette. Of course. I guess her kids are still in LA, going to school, maybe? Gwyneth is such a superior mother, she only leaves her kids for a few days for these quick little promotional deals, then she returns home so that she can speak Spanish, play the guitar and cook an omelette for her kids.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
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