| | |  | Gwyneth Paltrow News & Gossip
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow Recommends $450,000 Worth of Wardrobe Essentials | | Added 12 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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Spring is here so Gwyneth Paltrow took the time to update her GOOP website with a list of wardrobe essentials for the average woman. As long as these average women have $1M in disposable income.
Adding up all of Paltrow’s recommendations brings the total to $485,003. This includes an $855 McQ Alexander McQueen butterfly skirt, “Perfect for work, team an eye-catching and colorful skirt with your workwear basics,” a $225 iPad sleeve and a braided 18-karat gold-plated cuff for $465.
For a more casual look, Paltrow recommends a $425 plain white leather Thteyskens’ Theory tank top or a $865 Stella McCartney white jersey top.
Then there’s the $1,615 Temperley London satin-and-tulle maxi skirt if you’re feeling extra spendy.
I’m not a woman but if I was, my first and only reaction when reading this would be, “Oh, that looks kind of cu… [sees price] Aww, hell no!”
Gwyneth Paltrow is soprivilegedthat if you offered her anything less than 300 thread count toilet paper, she’d stab you.
The post Gwyneth Paltrow Recommends $450,000 Worth of Wardrobe Essentials appeared first on The Blemish.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow's spring fashion recommendations will set you back $458,003 | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Another day, another ?OMG is Gwyneth Paltrow insane?? story. Fortunately, this story is not about Gwyneth?s latest diet/cleanse or how she ?almost died? when she chanced upon a peasant wearing polyester. Incidentally, you know that the next month is going to be full-on Gwyneth, right? She?s going to be promoting her book (it comes out April 2) and if her book tour is anything like last time, we will have wall-to-wall coverage of Gwyneth interacting with commoners at ?Peasant Book Signings? and tons of new interviews in which Gwyneth deigns to describe how her deathly vitamin deficiencies are so very elite.
Today?s Goop story is literally (literally!!!) about Goop, meaning her latest Goop-letter which is her annual ?Spring Edit? (that?s literally what she calls it). It?s a yearly event in which Gwyneth spends an inordinate amount of time putting together a massive list of ?must-haves? for the new season. Not only does Gwyneth deign to cull a list of fancy designer clothes that peasants MUST OWN, but Goop actually models many of the looks, showing all of us how we?re supposed to look in these pieces if only we weren?t so fat and full of vitamins.
You can see Goop?s full ?Spring Edit? Goop-letter here ? she recommends pieces like ?a $425 white leather crop-top from Theyksens’ Theory, shiny orange Maiyet shorts for $475, a $925 leopard print Charlotte Olympia clutch, Jimmy Choo heels for $575, a $795 Swarovski crystal necklace and a $1,590 bangle bracelet from Saint Laurent.” If you want to look and dress like Gwyneth ? just for a season!!! ? then it will cost you $458,003. That?s how much all of this crap costs. And you know what? I?ll say it ? some of this shiz looks like it comes from Walmart.
Photos courtesy of Goop.
More Photos Here
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow's shilling a crazy diet she only adheres to a few weeks a year | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Over the weekend, I wrote up a preview of Gwyneth Paltrow?s April Self Magazine interview. I hoped to have more excerpts to discuss, and bless them, they were finally released. The most startling thing about these excerpts is that Gwyneth deigns to admit that her crazy ?no dairy, no eggs, no sugar, no gluten, no carbs, no potatoes, no tomatoes, no red meat, no corn, no wheat? diet is actually just something she does for three weeks at a time a few times a year. She?s not currently on this crazy diet right now ? this ?diet? is her new version of a detox. And she?s still insisting that a doctor recommended it to her! That?s still the craziest thing to me ? I feel very strongly that Gwyneth goes doctor-shopping and nutritionist-shopping until she finds someone who will tell her to it?s okay to eat nothing at all, she can just drink wine and smoke and as long as she LOOKS skinny, she?s ?healthy?. Because that is seriously the way she thinks. Anyway, some highlights from the interview:
Why Gwyneth changed her diet: ?A couple of years ago, I got really run down. I had to sing at awards shows, which was fun but stressful. I’d have a Guinness and a beta-blocker every time. I also was constantly getting on airplanes, trying to knock myself out with sleeping pills and wine, waking up, trying to sweat it out with exercise and a steam, and then working really hard all day. Eventually, I had a panic attack. My body was like, ?What is happening?? My doctor, Alejandro Junger, recommended that I cut out basically everything: dairy, sugar, gluten, anything processed. I was like, “What the f— am I going to eat now?” That’s why I made the book: to stop eating brown rice out of the fridge because I didn’t know what else to eat–it was demoralizing.?
When she adheres to the diet: ?I probably eat this way two or three times a year for three weeks at a time. Past that, I’m not willing to make the sacrifice. Life is about balance. It’s good to work in healthy food, whether it’s five days a week or five meals a week. And if you’re going to do it, it should be awesome food you’re psyched to make. But never cut out the brownies or the wine.?
How she feels on the diet: ?You feel lighter and your emotions get smoother. I also was run-down because I had a lot of unexpressed anger. I made everyone else’s feelings more important than my own. I’d suck it up and then be alone in my car yelling at traffic or fighting with hangers in my closet when they got stuck together. You’re not learning anything unless you’re having the difficult conversations. Dealing with things directly changed my relationships. Sometimes when you get clear about who you are, others get less comfortable because they liked who you were. It’s changed my marriage [to Chris Martin, 36], too, but he’s up for the challenge.?
Her biggest stress: ?When I’m supposed to be in two places at once. I try to avoid finding myself in that scenario.?
Blowing off steam: ?I watch Homeland or New Girl. I also like to have martinis with my girlfriends. I feel a sisterhood emerging around me. I’m less threatening now that I’m 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar. There’s a sense of love and support. I feel really lucky.?
She calls girlfriends for advice: ?Always. “I have a guy coming for dinner. What should I make?” or “My mother really upset me. How should I approach it?” They know I’ve been through a lot of pain and suffering?some public, some private?and I keep going. Or maybe it’s just that I was the first one who could afford therapy!
Turning 40: ?[My 30s] were happy. I came into my womanhood, had my kids. My 20s were a lot of work, and I had no big-picture sense of who I was, where I was going or the point of it all.?
The point of it all: ?Finding your truth. Be honest about what you feel and don’t be afraid to articulate it. “To thine own self be true.” It’s not a platitude. It’s the key to life.
[From Self]
God, she?s insufferable. ?I also was run-down because I had a lot of unexpressed anger. I made everyone else’s feelings more important than my own.? Goop, please. No one believes that. No one who utters the words ?I’m less threatening now that I’m 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar? has a compulsive need to take care of other people.
Does anyone else find it bizarre that we?re getting so many different stories and rationales for why Gwyneth went on this radical diet? She claimed that she thought she was having a stroke, she claimed, she claimed she had all of these significant health problems, and now she?s claiming that she was just rundown from working SO MUCH (because she “had to” – like she had no choice in the matter?)! I guess it could be a combination of all of those things. Or it could be that Gwyneth was just looking for a new angle for her second cookbook and she?s struggling to create an appropriate backstory. Whatever is going on, I think it?s wildly irresponsible that we?re only hearing NOW that her ridiculous diet is something she only adheres to a few weeks at a time every four months.
Photos courtesy of Self.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow miscarried during her third pregnancy: 'I nearly died' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Yesterday, I covered the barely-there excerpts from Gwyneth Paltrow?s Self Magazine interview ? I only had four little sentences to work with, but I managed to do a full post on Goop?s insufferable attitude. Gwyneth sat down with the Mail on Sunday?s weekend magazine to discuss her life and her cookbook and there?s just so much information in here? you can read the full (exhaustive) piece here, and here are some highlights:
Wanting a third child: ?My children ask me to have a baby all the time. And you never know, I could squeeze one more in. I am missing my third. I?m thinking about it. But I had a really bad experience when I was pregnant with my third. It didn?t work out and I nearly died. So I am like, ?Are we good here or should we go back and try again???
Chris is a good father: ?Regardless of what happens in our marriage, I chose the best father? he is so good to the children and to know that you had kids with such a good man is a real weight off you. We are committed co-parents, we make all the decisions together and lean on each other for support.?
Banning dairy, eggs, sugar, corn, wheat, gluten, potatoes, tomatoes, red meat, shell or deep-water fish from her family?s diet: ?I was a mess. I was vitamin-D deficient, I had anaemia, I had thyroid issues, my liver was congested, I had hormonal imbalances and a benign tumour on my ovary that had to be removed ? I mean, it was crazy. I knew it was time for change. Creating a meal for my friends and family, sitting together, eating, laughing and talking ? that is when I am so happy. Oh my God, if you could see how much food I make ? I am the original Jewish mother. Making meals from these new recipes that look, smell and taste like the food I always cooked but are also super-healthy is an added joy.?
She still drinks a lot: ?Oh God, I do that, too. Every day. I really like a martini or a glass of red wine in the evening. I think it?s a really nice way to say, ?OK, it?s adult time now.? Having lived in England for so long, I have become a real booze hound. All you guys drink so much, me included. A glass of red wine is excellent for you, but I tend to not stop there.?
She doesn?t love her mom as much as her dad: ?I wouldn?t say I?m a mummy?s girl, but I have grown to have a tremendous appreciation of her as a woman. I was very much a daddy?s girl. I still feel the loss. I cried about my father today. I just thought, ?I need my dad?. He died ten years ago, but the grief doesn?t get less intense, it just hits you less frequently.?
More on Chris: ?My husband makes me laugh every day. He is hilarious ? he could have been a comedian, but he keeps it under wraps. He can laugh me out of a bad moment just like that.?
Her thoughts on Duchess Kate: ?I don?t think she has ever put a foot wrong. I think she is beautiful and clever and it?s great that she wears high street. I am a huge fan but I have never met her.?
On Jay-Z and Beyonce: ?Jay is like a big-brother figure to me, he has a very calming and mature energy. He is an amazing force in our life ? the kids call him Uncle Jay and Beyonc, Auntie B. I was a mum before B so I suppose I may have passed on some advice but I have learnt so much from her, too. She is gorgeous, very feminine, very clever in that she knows how to be powerful and yet demure. And their baby Blue Ivy is totally delish. She?s made me very broody.?
She?s had some minor work done: ?I don?t mind a few wrinkles and freckles. I had this laser treatment recently, Thermage, and it took a couple of years off my face, but I haven?t had any plastic surgery yet. Maybe one day I will, although I don?t like the idea of it. I prefer the thought of ageing in the way French actresses do ? have the odd cigarette and glass of wine and just enjoy life.?
She?s so perfect that it?s a problem: She confesses that ?the bane? of her existence has been her ?perfectionism? ? something she now thinks borders on a ?personality disorder? and she is working hard to undo. ?Life isn?t perfect. We are human beings, we are totally flawed and you just set yourself up for disappointment and shame if you try to be perfect. There is no point.?
[From The Mail]
I didn?t know that about her miscarriage. That’s horrible and I feel for her. I think there were some rumors about that years ago when she was briefly hospitalized, but Gwyneth?s publicist made it sound like food poisoning. I don’t think it’s fair to blame Gwyneth for whatever fertility issues she?s had ? completely healthy and unhealthy women have fertility problems and problems carrying a fetus to term.
In terms of the rest of the interview, the whole ?I won?t let my family eat half of all of the foods out there, just because I screwed up my body with starvation and ridiculous cleanses but I still love to drink and smoke cigarettes? thing doesn?t really jive. She?s so bizarre. She?s just making it up as she goes along, which is what most people do but she makes it seem like her (screwed-up) way is the healthiest and smartest choice.
Photos courtesy of the Mail on Sunday.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow: 'I?m less threatening now that I?m 40 & not 26-with-an-Oscar' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow covers the April issue of Self Magazine and there are literally only four sentences of the interview released at this point. Four little sentences and that was enough to enrage me. I guess I should be thankful that Gwyneth isn?t talking about her stupid cookbook, although I?m sure she did talk about in the interview and we just haven?t gotten those excerpts yet. I guess I should be thankful that Gwyneth isn?t condescending to the peasants about how much peasanty food we eat, allowing all of us to bask in the glory of her supreme wisdom, the wisdom that has given her early-onset osteoporosis, anemia and severe vitamin deficiency. Instead, Goop deigns to tell us that we are less threatened by her now because she?s older. She was just TOO PERFECT when she was younger and she wants us to know that she knows we were incredibly threatened. I wish I was joking.
Goop on turning 40 years old: ‘I feel a sisterhood emerging around me. I?m less threatening now that I?m 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar.?
On her girlfriends: ?They know I?ve been through a lot of pain and suffering ? some public, some private ? and I keep going. Or maybe it?s just that I was the first one who could afford therapy!’
Beyonce on Gwyneth?s friendship: ‘She is incredible. She’s a great friend on every level. I think for us, protecting our daughters is so important and … keeping things on our own terms, so I will still be protective and make sure [Blue Ivy] has a childhood and a great time.’
[From The Mail]
I love Gwyneth?s version of ?I keep going? ? like she?s some brave peasant struggling to find affordable housing and quality food and education for her children on a minimum wage. She was born rich and privileged, she got a Hollywood career out of nepotism, she won an Oscar by stealing her best friend?s script and she?s been coasting on her early fame for the past decade because, as she told Courtney Love, ?Once you?re A-list, you?re always A-list.? The worst thing that?s ever happened to Gwyneth is her father?s death, and while I don?t doubt that her father?s passing was devastating, she has been playing that ?I?m grieving!? card in the press for the past decade. And again, everything is always all about Gwyneth, and not only that, it?s about her image, how she?s perceived ? it?s not about how aging has changed her perspective and made her a better, more compassionate person. Her quote about aging is that other people perceive her differently because she seems less perfect, because all Gwyneth thinks about it is herself and what other people think of her (image).
Cover courtesy of Self, additional pics by Fame/Flynet.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow won't let her children eat bread, pasta, rice, dairy or eggs | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Am I alone in not wanting Gwyneth Paltrow?s life whatsoever? Like, Gwyneth thinks that everything about her life is so aspirational to all of the peasants, but in truth, I don?t want to be her at all. It?s too much work to be Gwyneth. All of that patronizing and condescension, the crap that she has to put up with from her husband, the extreme dieting and extreme workouts, the try-hard ?singing career?, and on and on. Gwyneth exhausts me and I?m just a casual observer. I imagine her life is terrible (when compared to mine ? I get to eat ice cream whenever I want).
Anyway, I was just thinking about how much I didn?t want to be Gwyneth while I was reading this completely asinine story about her latest cook book. Apparently, some early excerpts from the book have come out, and Gwyneth is SO SMUG about being so terribly vitamin deficient and she?s proud of passing on her crazy food issues to her children. She?s an awful human being.
She has tried the macrobiotic diet, the kale and lemon cleanse and only eating salad for days on end. But now Gwyneth Paltrow has admitted that she has begun inflicting her obsessions with food on her own children – by starving them of carbohydrates. Miss Paltrow, 40, said that that she avoids feeding pasta, bread or rice to Apple, eight, and Moses, six, because it is bad for them, even though they are left ?craving? the food.
Her decision was based on the fact that everyone in her house – including husband Chris Martin – is supposedly intolerant of gluten, dairy and chicken?s eggs. Miss Paltrow?s comments are an admission that her habit of going for the latest fad diet is filtering down to how she behaves as a mother. She has in the past told how she snacks on almonds when she is hungry rather than cave in and have a proper meal. She spent her 20s on the macrobiotic diet during which time she ate mostly vegetables and beans and chewed her food more thoroughly than usual.
In her new cookbook, called ?It?s All Good,? which is released next month, Miss Paltrow devotes an entire chapter to grains but is deeply skeptical about them.
She writes: ?Every single nutritionist, doctor and health-conscious person I have ever come across .?.?. seems to concur that (gluten) is tough on the system and many of us are at best intolerant of it and at worst allergic to it. Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we?re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs?.
Miss Paltrow, who won an Oscar in 1999 for Shakespeare in Love, added that Mr Martin, 36, the singer with the band Coldplay, and their children are all intolerant to ?many other surprising foods? – but her claim was met with skepticism by experts.
London-based public health nutritionist Yvonne Wake said Miss Paltrow was being ?foolish? and that she could be doing her children harm. She said: ?I think it?s not a good idea, especially because her children are thin – I?ve seen pictures of them.
?Kids need carbohydrate because it gives them glycogen which keeps your brain going. Without it they won?t be able to think straight as their brain won?t be functioning and their thinking patterns will be slow. It?s like when kids don?t have any breakfast – they will do less well at school and won?t be able to run around with the other children?.
Dr Carina Norris, a registered nutritionist, added: ?Far too many people self-diagnose themselves with allergies, or cut out wheat to lose weight, or because they think it’s bad for them. Not only are they making their lives difficult, cutting out such an important food group shouldn’t be done without the advice of a medical professional, as it could put them at risk of nutrient deficiencies.?
In the new book Gwyneth describes the moment she thought she had a stroke. The ‘Iron Man’ actress sought medical advice when she suddenly fell ill at her London home in 2011 while serving lunch to friends, and despite her fears, she was found to have been stricken with a migraine and panic attack.
She wrote in her new cook book: ‘One sunny afternoon in London, in the spring of 2011, I thought – without sounding overly dramatic – that I was going to die. I had just served lunch in the garden at home… I had a vague feeling that I was going to faint, and I wasn’t forming thoughts correctly… I got a searing pain in my head, I couldn’t speak, and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was having a stroke.’
The 40-year-old actress – who has children Apple, eight, and Moses, six, with husband Chris Martin – was also found to be severely anaemic and vitamin D deficient, so had to overhaul her diet, cutting out coffee, eggs, sugar, shellfish, potatoes, wheat and meat.
Her health scare prompted herself and her family to undergo food allergy testing. Miss Paltrow?s previous cooking book, ?My Father’s Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family and Togetherness? detailed more of her curious food obsessions. For a refreshing drink she turns to a juice made of kale, lemon juice, water, vitamins and natural sweetener agave.
Miss Paltrow, who writes a food and lifestyle blog, claimed that this drink, coupled with five 45-minute workouts each week taught to her by celebrity fitness trainer Tracy Anderson, had left in the best condition of her life.
[From The Mail]
FOR THE LOVE OF GOOP. Jesus. Seriously, I know I?m not one of Gwyneth?s fancy nutritionists (and seriously, it sounds like she goes nutritionist-shopping the same way a Vicodin addict goes doctor-shopping), but whatever happened to ?you can have almost anything in moderation?? You can have a steak, just don?t eat one every day. You can have pasta, just don?t eat a mountain of it. You can have a cup of coffee because you?ll fall asleep if you don?t. And I still don?t understand how Goop gets diagnosed with anemia and vitamin D deficiency and then goes on to cut out eggs, potatoes, wheat AND MEAT. And I don?t understand how Gwyneth has some kind of mind-block on how she got to be so unhealthy (to the point where she felt like she was having a stroke!): decades of starving herself and crash diets and eating in a severely unbalanced way. And now she?s passing all of that on to her children.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to admit two peasanty fashion faux pas in her Goop-letter | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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You know that I rarely recommend reading Gwyneth Paltrow?s weekly Goop-letter. I got tired of reading them a long time ago, and these days I go out of my way to avoid covering them. Gwyneth is what she is ? an out-of-touch elitist snob deigning to advise the peasants ? and while I?m sure she?s kind of bored with this whole Goop project at this point, it?s her ?thing? and she feels obligated to continue giving us the gift of Goop. It?s Gwyneth?s sense of noblesse oblige.
This week?s Goop is half-decent, but only because she comes close to admitting a small flaw! She admits WAY at the end of the post, after she lets some of her fashion friends talk about what Spring/Summer 2013 is going to look like in fashion. At the end of the Goop-letter, Gwyneth does a short Q&A (with herself, I think) about her style, her Oscars looks, and whether she?s ever made a (GASP) fashion faux pax.
What inspires your style?
Gwyneth: I am most inspired by women friends who are incredibly stylish in their own way. Stella McCartney always looks amazing. She has a way of making you covet her sweatpants and t-shirt, she just wears clothes so well. I love Rashida Jones’ hot nerd vibe and Beyonce?s playfulness in trying different trends. I love Cameron Diaz’s ability to rock silver nails and layer tons of tiny gold jewelry. I am also very inspired by street style in London where I have lived pretty much for 10 years.
Q:What are your favorite fashion moments?
Gwyneth: I have to say that since I started working with stylist Elizabeth Saltzman and have put my red carpet looks in her hands, I think they are all pretty maje. I can say this because I have just about nothing to do with it. Standouts for me are the Pink Prada dress at the 2011 Venice Film Festival, and of course the white Tom Ford from the Oscars last year.
Q: Any fashion faux pas?
Gwyneth: Well, I started being photographed in the 90?s so of course there are a few glaring ones. Two that come to mind are looks I wore to the Oscars in 2000 and 2002. The first is the Calvin Klein. It’s an okay dress but not Oscars material. I chose it because I wanted to disappear that year. Also, the goth Alexander McQueen I wore a few years later. There were a few issues; I still love the dress itself but I should have worn a bra and I should have just had simple beachy hair and less makeup. Then, it would have worked as I wanted it to – a little bit of punk at the Oscars.
[From Goop]
I?m including photos of Gwyneth?s favorite looks ? the Prada (which I?m meh on) and the caped Tom Ford ? and I?m using the photo array from Goop for her ?faux pas? looks. I still don?t find anything of value in that goth McQueen look ? I don?t think a bra would have helped, nor a hair change. It was just the wrong dress on the wrong woman. The Calvin Klein cocktail dress? I actually had no memory of that. So she did successfully disappear that year (eye-roll).
Photos courtesy of Goop, WENN, Fame/Flynet.
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow for Anti-Gravity Yoga | | Added 12 years ago | Source: Yeeeah |
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Anti Gravity Yoga
There's always a chance Gwyneth Paltrow could accidentally strangle herself with her silk hammock.
Yoga Pants
Asos's wide-leg yoga pants are a steal. ($21)
Yoga Pants
DKNY's cropped yoga pants are pricey, but they're designer, so you get that pretentious factor. ($95)
Yoga Pants
Monrow's French Terry yoga pants sound super comfy. ($61)
Yoga Pants
So Low's yoga pants can lift even the droopiest of bottoms. ($70)
[Close]
Gwyneth Paltrow wraps presents with $52 wrapping paper and would “rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can,” so of course she can’t exercise like a normal person. Instead of regular yoga, Gwyneth does Anti-Gravity Yoga, suspended in a silk hammock from the ceiling like “a caterpillar cradled in its chrysalis.” Ugh. I hate myself for even typing that. The Daily Mail says:
AntiGravity Yoga, the brainchild of acrobat and gymnast Christopher Harrison, involves a thorough workout a few feet above the ground in a silk hammock that can close around the person inside to form a peaceful pod.
Speaking about her experience, 40-year-old Gwyneth wrote: “We spent an afternoon in Richard Holroyd?s intimate studio that houses four AntiGravity Hammocks – basically a hammock made of silk that you can lie, hang, stretch in and more.
At first, we just got used to being in the swing – part of what makes it so special is the sense of suspension.
Then Richard showed us several moves with the hammock. In comparison to other yoga classes, the moves felt constructive without feeling like a chore.”
Anti-Gravity Yoga! Of course. How else would she be able to stick her head so far up her own butt? It all makes sense now!
If you’re going to do yoga of any kind, you gotta make sure to get the right kind of pants. Otherwise the other hipsters will laugh at you:
LOW WARRIOR: So Low yoga pants ($70)
MODIFIED COBRA: DKNY cropped yoga pants ($95)
CHILD’S POSE: Asos wide-leg yoga pants ($21)
DOWNWARD DOG: Monrow French Terry yoga pants ($61)
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow is bored with acting, wants to be the next Jessica Simpson | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Gwyneth Paltrow must be feeling antsy. Despite her high-class, jet-setting, enormously expensive lifestyle, a “rock star” husband, a spot on the (gulp) New York Times bestselling list, and a (at this point) moderately successful career as an actress, Goop just isn’t satisfied with life. To be entirely truthful, I knew something was amiss when Gwyneth announced that she wasn’t detoxing for the New Year, so she must not really be feeling like herself.
It turns out that something is wrong in Goop’s life. Goop is feeling very underwhelmed by life on film sets lately — even though she’s only really been in those Iron Man movies and that terrible Country Strong over the past handful of years. Personally, I think Goop is upset that no one treats her like the “it girl” anymore in Hollywood, so she’s decided to voluntarily “cut back” on acting. What will she do instead? She’ll grow her Goop website, and she eventually wants to have an empire as big as — get this — Jessica Simpson. Yes, Gwyneth wants to be more like the former singer that Kaiser lovingly refers to as “Farty.” Goop wants to make a ton of money selling useless crap like Jessica does on a daily basis. Here we go:
Gwyneth Paltrow is giving up showbiz for, well, business. A source says that after the 33 Dias actress wraps her next few films, she will focus on growing her lifestyle website, Goop, and the fitness company she co-owns with trainer Tracy Anderson.
Paltrow is hoping to emulate the career of another multitalented star: Jessica Simpson! “She admires Jessica’s empire,” the source says of the Academy Award winner, 40. “She wants to make a killing.”
The two-time cookbook author’s rep says she has no plans to give up acting altogether, telling the Feb. 25 issue of Us Weekly, “She won’t quit acting. Her plan is to do one, maybe two supporting parts a year.”
Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”
[From Us Weekly]
Okay, I’ll play ball. Let’s say that there’s something to the theory that winning a Best Actress Oscar so early in life left Goop with very litle incentive to develop herself as an actress. After her Academy Award success, she really took a nosedive though even though she was trying to do passion projects. Did you see Sylvia, which was supposed to be arthouse Goop? She was atrocious in that movie, and so was Daniel Craig (don’t tell Kaiser I said that) as Ted Hughes. So I guess it’s easier for Goop to admit that she’s lost her taste for acting instead of possibly admitting that her Oscar was a fluke, and maybe she really wasn’t cut out to be an actress in the long term.
Seriously though, if she really wants to be like Jessica Simpson, Goop is going about it all wrong. Abandoning her New Year cleansing ritual this year after going to all of the (non-)trouble of relabeling another company’s product as a Goop-branded colon cleanse was a big mistake. Sure it was a pricey endeavor for Goop seekers, but that sort of flatulence is priceless if you know what I mean. And this year, it’s certainly a missed opportunity for Gwyneth to “grow” her own farty empire.
Photos courtesy of WENN
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| | Gwyneth Paltrow, peasanty imposter: 'I am not on a detox, I am not on a diet.' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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On New Year?s Eve, I finally got around to writing about Gwyneth Paltrow?s second foray into cookbook-writing. For the record, I do think Gwyneth ?writes? a great deal of her cookbooks, in that those are actually her personal stories, and maybe she makes some of that food for her kids. But Gwyneth doesn?t want you to know that she?s got a co-author (Julia Turshen) or that she has a team of ?co-chefs? who are working on the actual recipes. She doesn?t want you to concentrate on that stuff because those people are peasants, and you?re buying the cookbook because of GWYNETH!!
Anyway, I bring that up because many of us were disturbed when we found out what Goop?s second cookbook was going to be about, what the ?hook? was. That hook: Gwyneth had been diagnosed with anemia, a vitamin D deficiency, and high stress levels, and her ?doctor? recommended that she eliminate coffee, alcohol, sugar, eggs, wheat, meat and processed food to heal her body. For real. She?s vitamin-deficient from all of the ?cleanses? and crazy ?diets? and then she found some quack who told her to cut out meat, wheat and eggs to remedy her maladies. And then she wrote a cookbook about it, because Gwyneth wants to give us the gift of anemia and vitamin deficiency too.
But in Goop?s latest newsletter, she tells us that unlike her typical New Year?s cleanses and crash diets, Gwyneth began this new year by eating food. PEASANT!! IMPOSTER!! J’accuse!!
Happy 2013! I am not on a detox. I am not on a diet. I know, New Year?s cleansing and all that. Not this year. Can’t do it. Maybe later in the year. Maybe in the spring. So for now, I would like to continue with my pasta and cheese, but perhaps be more mindful of ingredients. I asked my friend Dr. Frank Lipman about his list of superfoods so that I could incorporate them into my diet a bit more. If you are going to eat pasta, why not serve it with a walnut pesto (walnuts are on his list)? You get my point. We had great fun in the goop test kitchen coming up with these ways to incorporate these miraculous foods into very tasty recipes. We hope you enjoy.
Love,
gp
[From Goop]
Gwyneth goes on to recommend some dishes that are heavy on the ?superfoods? which include ?avocados, beans, blueberries, cruciferous vegetables, spinach, walnuts, wild salmon, dairy-free chocolate (in moderation) and chia seeds.? What I can?t get over, however, is Gwyneth?s mindset. She really does have such a severe eating disorder and such a significantly warped body/health image that she feels genuine GUILT and PRESSURE because she didn?t do a cleanse for the new year. She?s? defensive about eating real food! And by the way, she?s implicitly promising to ?cleanse? in a few months. And Goop?s cleanses are pretty much anorexia with some fancy fruit juices.
Gwyenth also included a photo of her kids on holiday in St. Lucia:
Photos courtesy of WENN, GOOP.
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