| | |  | Lindsay Lohan News & Gossip
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| | Lindsay Lohan Will Do Time | | Added 13 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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According to officials from the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department, Lindsay Lohan will be doing hard time. Seconds if not minutes of it!
Judge Stephanie Sautner sentenced Lindsay to 30 days in jail which was brought down to 6 days due to overcrowding which has now been brought down to a few minutes or however long it takes to process her.
Two Sheriff’s Dept. officials tell us … if someone receives a misdemeanor sentence of 90 days or less, they are routinely processed in and then released. As one of the officials put it, “She’ll be out without even having to change her clothes.”
Sheriff’s spokesperson Steve Whitmore just confirmed with TMZ … Lindsay will get in and out of jail pronto, adding the only reason there might be any sort of delay — possibly overnight — is if there are lots of other inmates who are being processed out at the same time. TMZ
The best we can hope for is that they make Lindsay sign a lot of forms. Enough to cause her a minor inconvenience. That’ll show her! Hope you set your DVR, bitch, because you’re going to be missing the first few minutes of The Office.
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| | Lindsay Lohan: Immediate Jail Release Expected | | Added 13 years ago | Source: Celebrity Gossip |
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She was sentenced to 30 days in the Los Angeles County Jail earlier this morning (November 2) but, according to a more recent report, Lindsay Lohan will be in and out of jail within minutes.
Officials from the L.A. County Sheriff?s Department told TMZ, ?If someone receives a misdemeanor sentece of 90 days or less, they are routinely processed in and then released.?
Even though the judge said that the sentence can only be reduced if required by law, the officials tell that there's a federal court order on overcrowding that "trumps everything," and that order has been interpreted to immediately release people with short jail sentences.
All in all, the ?Mean Girls? actress will be in and out of jail ?without even having to change her clothes.?
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| | Lindsay Lohan Sentenced to 30 Days in Jail | | Added 13 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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Lindsay Lohan showed up to court today and admitted she violated her probation by not showing up to therapy sessions as required by the court and by getting kicked out of the Downtown Women’s Center.
For this, Judge Sautner sentenced Lindsay to 30 days in jail which as already been whittled down to 6 days by the Sheriff’s Department. Hilarious since earlier Sheriff Lee Baca said he’d make room for her in jail and even recommended 60 days.
As for her community service, she’ll now have to serve it all at the morgue and will have to follow a strict schedule because Lindsay was obviously going to try and cram all her hours in at the last minute.
Judge Stephanie Sautner gave Lindsay a strict schedule on completing the rest of her probation — by December 14, she must have completed 12 days at the morgue and 4 psychotherapy sessions. By January 17, another 12 days at morgue and 4 psychotherapy sessions. And so on. Everything must be completed by March 29 — or she goes directly to jail for 270 days.
The judge clearly thinks Lindsay needs a rigid structure to complete her sentence, and as the judge put it, Lindsay is holding the keys to the jail cell. TMZ
Lindsay won’t be starting her sentence just yet though. The judge granted a delayed sentencing to allow Lindsay to finish her Playboy shoot. Lindsay’s lawyer told the judge if she went to jail now, she’d be in breach of a near $1 million contract.
Whew. Thank god the judge realized how important it was for Lindsay to wave her tits in front of a camera or else this would have been a disaster.
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| | Lindsay Lohan's Probation Violation Hearing | | Added 13 years ago | Source: Celebrity Gossip |
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Ready to face the consequences of her actions, Lindsay Lohan made her scheduled appearance at the Los Angeles Courthouse on Wednesday morning (November 2).
The troubled actress was flanked by her lawyer and police escorts as she made her grand entrance ahead of a hearing before Judge Stephanie Sautner.
Lindsay is in court after having her probation revoked due to the fact that she was kicked out of the Downtown Women's Center - where she failed to appear for multiple scheduled community service sessions.
Reports tell that LiLo is aware that she'll be sent to jail - with her legal team now trying to fight for the least possible amount of time behind bars.
According to TMZ, Lohan will be pleading for two weeks in the slammer though the LA District Attorney plans to ask for a much longer stay.
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| | Linnocent sentenced to 30 days in jail, with 270 more days if she screws up | | Added 13 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Linnocent is going back to jail! But it?s a mixed bag of a sentence. Part of me thinks the Cracken got off easy. Part of me thinks the judge is giving her enough rope to hang herself, so to speak. The sentence is basically as follows: 30 days in jail, non-negotiable, as soon as Linnocent turns herself over within the next week; from there, the judge set a timetable for Linnocent to complete 12 full days at the morgue a month, plus four therapy sessions a month, and if LL doesn?t complete either each month, this ?probation? is automatically revoked, a warrant goes out for LL?s arrest, and she will have to immediately start a 270-day jail sentence. So, 300 days in jail, with only 30 days in jail guaranteed. Here are some random thoughts:
*LL was wearing vintage, with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes. And no bra? It didn?t look like her girls were contained. Saggy.
*She apparently told people that she was ?sick? with ?food poisoning from some bad shrimp?. She was barfing all night or something. Sure? ?shrimp?. Must be a new drug I haven?t heard of.
*She doesn?t have to do any more community service hours at any place other than the County Morgue.
*Linnocent copped to violating her probation by not attending therapy and by getting kicked out of the Women?s Center.
*TMZ?s source inside the Sheriff’s Dept. says ?Lindsay will serve 20% of the 30 days — 6 days in jail.? - That?s from the 30 day sentence. Ugh.
*No tweeting, no press conferences. Those were both just judicial ?suggestions?.
*Linnocent was keeping tighter control over her spastic, crackface today. No bulging eyes, no kabuki makeup, just a lot of pouting, lip-biting and fake-eyelash batting.
*I LOVED that the Women?s Center said that they might take LL back, but the judge was like, ?No, I don?t want to put them through that.? I also loved that another women?s center was all ?That crackhead is a bad influence on these women.? Seriously, she?s a HORRIBLE influence.
*If she wants to leave the state for ?work? she has to prove to her new probation officer (her old one quit her crack ass) that she really will be ?working?. What, like provide receipts for the beejs?
Blah, blah? so, yeah, I?m kind of disappointed, especially because I don?t think LL will even end up in jail for a week. But! I know my Cracken. She?ll f–k up again. She?ll go all crackie and blow off some hours and then she?ll go to jail.
Photos courtesy of Fame, screen caps from the live feed.
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| | Lindsay Lohan Got New Teefs | | Added 13 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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After pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s rotting teeth showed up online, she put her hand over her mouth and ran straight for the dentist. Now her teeth are fixed and she’s ready to tackle unemployment and community service in style.
Over the weekend on her website, Lindsay thanked Dr. Dorfman for the teeth whitening Zoom treatment. She added, “My gums are so sore though!”
Teeth whitening? It looked like her teeth were crusted over like that Playboy you hid under the bed as a kid in those photos. Did they use whitener by the gallon or something?
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| | Linnocent is 'looking forward to being back on set' regardless of sentencing | | Added 13 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Poor Linnocent! Poor crackhead is trying to get attention at the same time Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce. Good luck with that, crackie! So Linnocent managed to get a story in TMZ and Radar this morning, both about her legal options/crack shenanigans. TMZ?s report is all about how Linnocent hopes that the judge will just pay attention to what?s happened in the last week, and ignore the last six months of balls-out crackie behavior:
Lindsay Lohan will concede she violated her probation by getting kicked out of her community service program …TMZ has learned.
Lindsay will appear in court on Wednesday … where Judge Stephanie Sautner plans to hold a hearing on whether Lindsay violated her probation. But our sources say the hearing may be unnecessary, because Lindsay will not put up a fight.
Sources tell us Lindsay’s strategy — courtesy of Shawn Holley — is to show the judge she is now really, really serious about complying with the terms of her probation. She’ll come to court armed with proof she’s logged in 24 hours of service at the morgue — way more than the 16 hours the judge required before Wednesday’s hearing. And Lindsay still has time to put in more time.
Lindsay’s plan has its risks — she faces well over a year in jail if the judge throws the book at her. We’re told Lindsay is hoping for minimal jail time — two weeks — which would actually be way less because of overcrowding.
The wild card, of course, is Judge Sautner, who made it clear at the time of sentencing … if Lindsay violated probation she would go to jail. Based on the judge’s statements … it’s unlikely Lindsay would score a 2-week sentence.
[From TMZ]
I hope that Judge Sautner isn?t going to be fooled by LL?s new attitude towards her community service. Considering what a bitch-slapping the judge gave Linnocent last time, I have high hopes, although some of it isn?t in the judge?s hands. If the judge goes all hardcore and sentences LL to a year in jail, LL would get out? when? Maybe a month? Because the California jails and prisons are so overcrowded and everybody?s sentences get reduced once they?re handed off to the Sheriff?s Department. However, someone in the sheriff?s department did go on the record saying that if the judge hands down a big sentence, LL will be doing most of it. Here?s hoping.
Meanwhile, LL?s delusional rep, Steve Honig, tells Radar: “Lindsay recognizes it’s time to have closure on this. Lindsay has several projects we will be announcing in the coming months, and she is looking forward to being back on set. Lindsay has been doing eight hour shifts just like everybody else, and she is working diligently in fulfilling her obligations. Lindsay is being accountable and is taking this very, very seriously.? BITCH PLEASE. Don?t even start with that ?she?s looking forward to being back on set? BS.
Here?s Linnocent looking for closure last night in Hollywood, where she went to a party dressed as? what? A cracked-out French maid?
Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.
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| | Lindsay Offered a Million to Cast Her Genitals for Sex Toys | | Added 13 years ago | Source: Yeeeah |
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Now that she’s pocketed a million bucks for posing for Playboy, Lindsay Lohan has yet another million dollar offer on the table from a sex toy company who wants to cast her vagina in latex. And you said nobody would ever hire her again. Never underestimate the pocket puss demographic! TMZ says:
The honchos from an adult entertainment company called FleshLight [are] hoping to seal a deal with the actress which would allow the company to take a mold of LiLo’s lady parts to produce “authentic” Lindsay Lohan sex toys.
Shockingly, the practice of genital molding is not that uncommon in the world of adult entertainment … loads of XXX actresses — including Jesse Jane and “Nailin’ Palin” star Lisa Ann — have copied their private parts for sex toys.
Or you could just boil a couple of lasagna noodles, fold them over on themselves, then pack them full of Silly Putty and let it bake on a car dashboard in the sun for six days. Voila! It’s just like Lindsay Lohan’s puss. Make sure you dose the whole thing in Tabasco first for that authentic Lindsay Lohan burn.
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| | Linnocent is 'baring all' in Playboy, because she's desperate for money | | Added 13 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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I?m sure you?ve probably already heard about this, but since you bitches love a Linnocent post like the Cracken loves crack, here is your forum to discuss the details of LL?s Playboy shoot. Now, a few days ago there was a report that made it seem like Linnocent wasn?t really going to expose anything for her six-figure paycheck. No boobs, no vadge, maybe not even her ass. Which was a weird report, considering Linnocent has flashed all of that (and more) just within the past year. It?s not like her vadge is some secret - we?ve all seen it. Anyway, LL has already done the Playboy photo shoot (Dina says it ?went well? of course) and now details are beginning to ?leak? out. Much like I?m sure there was some ?leakage? at the photo shoot. Ew, I?m sorry. That was too gross. Basically, the Cracken is exposing everything and then some for her paycheck. ?Atta girl.
Lindsay Lohan didn’t wuss out for her Playboy shoot — TMZ has learned, the actress will BARE ALL in her upcoming spread … i.e. the holy trifecta … or as one source close to Playboy put it, “boobs, ass, and vag.”
As we previously reported, Lindsay recently locked down a nearly-million-dollar deal with PB for a full pictorial — and yesterday, she finally wrapped her 4-day shoot.
Reports circulated Lindsay would pull one of those lame semi-nude fiascos — all sideboob, no fun — but sources close to Hef & co. tell us, that is NOT the case. Lindsay did insist the photos be “tastefully done,” but we’re told she’s still going the full monty.
It’s unclear when Lindsay will grace the cover — but it could be the life-giving jolt Playboy needs for a comeback.
[From TMZ]
I mean? of course. Hugh Hefner might be a doddering old codger who couldn?t find his dick with two hands and a map, but even HE knows that if you?re going to hand LL a $900,000 check, the vadge must be included. Radar also has a report about WHY the crackie decided to go ?full biscuit?. Hint: she?s a crackhead mess who is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.
Lindsay Lohan decided to do a Playboy photo shoot because she was extremely concerned about her financial situation and a possible jail sentence, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.
The embattled actress is facing up to 18 months behind bars for a possible probation violation in her shoplifting case. LiLo’s probation violation hearing is scheduled for November 2.
“Lindsay still hasn’t signed her contract to be in the John Gotti biopic. Lindsay is extremely concerned about her finances, and she needs the money. Lindsay’s flow of income has been greatly diminished in the last year. With the possibility of being sent back to jail for over a year, she felt that now was the time to do the Playboy photo shoot,” a source close to the actress tells us.
As RadarOnline.com previously reported Lindsay arrived 20 minutes early for her court ordered community service at the Los Angeles Coroner’s Office Wednesday morning. LiLo was ordered to complete 16 hours per week at the morgue before her probation violation hearing next week. The judge handling Lindsay’s shoplifting case terminated the actresses’ probation last week after she was booted from the Downtown Women’s Center, a shelter for homeless women. DWC cut Lohan loose after she failed to appear on multiple days. Judge Stephanie Sautner had ordered Lindsay to perform more than 300 hours of community service at the Skid Row shelter as part of her probation in her shoplifting case.
Lindsay will be cleaning toilets, scrubbing floors and cleaning up after autopsies are performed.
[From Radar]
It makes sense. I mean? I?ll bash LL for anything and everything, but posing for Playboy for a massive paycheck is one of the most rational decisions she?s made in years. If Playboy is dumb enough to pay her, why not? And it shows a clear understanding on Linnocent?s part that she?s not some in-demand actress and model, that if she wants to have some money and pay her bills, she?s got to make this kind of move.
Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.
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| | Lindsay Lohan Is Doing It for the Money | | Added 13 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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Remember that joke I made about getting Lindsay Lohan to do anything just by waving a hundred in her face? I was being serious. Even Radar backs me up. They say Lindsay’s financial situation is so shaky that she was practically forced to take the Playboy gig.
The embattled actress is facing up to 18 months behind bars for a possible probation violation in her shoplifting case. LiLo’s probation violation hearing is scheduled for November 2.
“Lindsay still hasn’t signed her contract to be in the John Gotti biopic. Lindsay is extremely concerned about her finances, and she needs the money. Lindsay’s flow of income has been greatly diminished in the last year. With the possibility of being sent back to jail for over a year, she felt that now was the time to do the Playboy photo shoot,” a source close to the actress tells us. Radar
Plus, she’s not getting any younger. And she’s been waving that thing around town for half her career so getting paid for it seems like the next logical step.
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