| | |  | Jessica Simpson News & Gossip
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| | Jessica Simpson, As Seen on TV | | Added 12 years ago | Source: Yeeeah |
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Jessica Simpson is all set to star in an NBC sitcom based on the life of Jessica Simpson. The question is, “why?” It’s like NBC isn’t even trying any more. The only thing that could be worse than a sitcom based on the life of Jessica Simpson is a sitcom based on a sitcom about the life of Jessica Simpson, sorta like there at the end on Seinfeld. There’s a lot of complicated math involved, but trust me, that would be exponentially worse. (Jezebel)
Lance Armstrong finally admits to doping in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, but doesn’t cry give more than one-syllable answers, leading me to speculate that he’s either a narcissistic jerk incapable of relating to anyone other than Lance Armstrong, or a cyborg from the planet Douchetron 5 sent here from the future. Robots can’t cry, you know. The interview went like this:
Did you ever take banned substances to enhance your cycling performance?
Yes.
Was one of those banned substances EPO?
Yes.
id you ever blood dope or use blood transfusions to enhance your cycling performance?
Yes.
Did you ever use any other banned substances like testosterone, cortisone or human growth hormone?
Yes.
In all seven of your Tour de France victories did you ever take banned substances or blood dope?
Yes.
I have a feeling this whole public apology is just his way of setting the stage for his new line of Lance Arrmstrong brand masking agents and blood test invalidators. Live well and lie well in 2013!TM (Huffington Post)
Hilary Swank grew up in a trailer park, dropped out of high school and lived in a car as a teenager, but now she’s a millionaire Oscar-winner. For one brief shining moment, you were almost better than Hilary Swank. That’s what you should take from this story. Also something about following your dreams and believing in yourself, blah blah blah blah. (Mandatory)
Lena Dunham is huge right now, and no, that’s not a fat joke. Her hit HBO show “Girls” racked up Golden Globe after Golden Globe, she’s on the cover of Interview magazine, and she was named Time Magazine’s “Coolest Person of the Year.” And now, Howard Stern himself is apologizing for calling her tubby.
?I?m not that fat, Howard,? [Dunham] said [when she called into his show]. ?I don?t mean to take major issue with you about this. I?m not super thin, but I?m thin for, like, Detroit.?
Stern agreed, explaining that he just meant that she often played up the ?fat angle? on the show.
?You?re not obese or anything,? he allowed.
?Thank you. Another thing for my gravestone,? Dunham laughed.
“You’re not obese or anything” is about the nicest thing my husband’s grandmother’s ever had to say to me. Along with “you barely notice the scoliosis when you’re sitting down” and “Remember, a buffet isn’t a dare, Abby.” (Skinny vs Curvy)
The chick from Vampire Diaries has her neck photoshopped to giraffe-like proportions. She couldn’t support a melon like that without the aid of those neckrings they wear in Myanmar. (Photoshop Disasters)
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| | Jessica Simpson on conceiving her second child 'it was like a one-night stand' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Yesterday Kaiser reported that Jessica Simpson had inexplicably signed a deal to star in a sitcom based on her life, on NBC of course, in which she would play herself and actors would play the parts of her husband and family. It sounded like a terrible premise and a dumb twist on her reality show, in which we learned that she’s not the brightest bulb and that she shares way too much information about her bodily processes. (That was honestly the first time I’d ever heard the “dropping kids off at the pool” expression. Eww.) Jessica was on The Tonight Show this week to promote Fashion Star and she of course gave TMI about how her second, unexpected pregnancy came about. She did have some funny self-deprecating things to say about how much weight she gained in her first pregnancy, adding that she “had fun” at the time and realized later “that it wasn’t all water weight.” Anyway here’s some of what Jessica said. She also confirmed that she’s due “in the summer.” It’s going to be a summer of babies! Duchess Kate and Kim K are also due around that time.
On her last pregnancy
The last time I ate everything in sight. I was really happy to be pregnant and I just didn?t even step on the scale. I was the person who turned around and said, ‘Just don?t tell me, I?m having fun.’
I guess I just didn?t realize you could gain that much weight that quickly. I had fun doing it but once I had Maxwell I realized that it all wasn?t water weight and I had to really work hard. In four months I lost over 50 pounds.
On her favorite food
Everything. I didn’t really make any healthy good decisions.
On how Weight Watchers responded to her pregnancy
I think that they were as shocked as I was, because it was so soon and I was hitting all these goals and everybody was celebrating and it was like ‘ah, there she goes again’ But they were really supportive I mean, what can you do? I just said ‘Next time around, I’ll promise I’ll be healthier throughout this pregnancy.’
On how this pregnancy is going
I’ve been puking. I’ve been really, really sick so I can?t wait to actually be able to crave something like I did in my first pregnancy. I?m due in the summer so I still have a ways to go ? hopefully I start feeling better.
On if she’ll get married soon
We?ve had two different wedding dates, but he keeps knocking me up. I?m doing it very backwards, I know! I?ll just keep my legs crossed this time.
On how she got pregnant again
I was extremely shocked. I was shocked because I was going through a lot of hormonal changes, trying to get back to the old, vibrant Jessica. And, you know, it was kind of like a one-night stand. And it happened, all over again!
[Quotes via NBC video, Extra and Access Hollywood]
Classic Jessica. The audience audibly groaned when she said “I’ve been puking.” It’s not a “one night stand” when it’s your husband or boyfriend and the guy lives with you, even if you haven’t had sex in a while. Semantics aside, this wasn’t a bad interview with Jessica and she came across as funny, albeit unable to censor herself. I just want to say – holy chi chis! (Credit: Michael K) Her boobs are huge and they’re pushed up into a shelf like Christina Hendricks’ rack. Here’s another screenshot I took. Also, her hair looks very wig-like.
As an aside, I just want to say NBC sucks for the way they treat their shows. They can hire Jessica Simpson for what will surely be a mediocre comedy but they can’t even be bothered to air the already-completed episodes of the amazing, critically acclaimed cult hit Community. NBC is excellent at getting quality shows, but they always screw it up somehow. I’m just waiting for the axe to fall on Parenthood, I love that show.
Jessica Simpson on her wedding plans:
Two photos above credit: FameFlynet
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| | Jessica Simpson Talks 2nd Pregnancy on 'The Tonight Show' | | Added 12 years ago | Source: Celebrity Gossip |
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She?s always up for a fun-filled evening, and last night (January 15) Jessica Simpson paid a visit to ?The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.?
The ?Come On Over? songstress looked gorgeous as she joked around with Jay about getting pregnant the second time around.
Simpson confessed, ?We?ve had two different wedding dates, but he keeps knocking me up! We?re doing it very backwards, I know? I?ll just keep my legs crossed, I guess, this time.?
And when Leno asked if the second pregnancy was part of her plan, Jessica replied, "Nope! Apparently it was a part of God's plan for my life. I was extremely shocked...because I was going through a lot of hormonal changes, trying to get back to the old, vibrant Jessica. You know, it was kind of like a one-night stand. And it happened, all over again!"
However, this time around Simpson will be more careful about what she eats than when she was carrying Maxwell. "I was really happy to be pregnant and I didn't ever step on the scale. I didn't realize you could gain that much weight that quickly. I didn't really make any healthy good decisions.?
More Photos Here
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| | Jessica Simpson Tweeted Herself Pregnant in a Bikini | | Added 12 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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Because the thought of Jessica Simpson ballooning back to county fair blueberry pie weight wasn’t terrifying enough, she tweeted a self-shot photo of herself standing in front of the bathroom mirror wearing a bikini showing off her baby bump with the caption, “Bumpin’ and proud!”Luckily, she has a new Weight Watchers commercial with Jennifer Hudson. You can put this on repeat for the next 8 months and pretend another 9 pound baby isn’t about to tear through her vagina.Did you watch that? Is it just me or did Jessica look like she was about to topple over while she was walking.
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| | Jessica Simpson shows off her bare baby bump in a bikini: cute or try-hard? | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Since you guys can?t seem to get enough of Jessica Simpson?s second pregnancy, or new photos of Jessica, here you go. Like, all of the sites are running with this photo that Jessica tweeted yesterday (message: ?Bumpin? and proud?), and everyone is talking about it?? I don?t really get why Jessica has been tweeting a flurry of new pics, or why everyone wants to talk about them. For this latest stunt, she?s tweeted a selfie of her baby bump in a bikini. A few points: one, Jessica?s bump is bigger than I was expecting, especially if she?s only in her first trimester (which I believe she is, although she was showing really quickly with her first pregnancy too). Second point: Jessica looks GREAT. I don?t understand why anyone would criticize her for anything. Look at how pretty her skin looks! And it?s amazing to me that she gained and lost all of that weight and she doesn?t have any stretch marks or loose skin. She looks really good.
As you can see from the pics, Jessica is still in Hawaii with Eric and her family. I?m still saying that there?s a really, really good chance Jessica is going to have a small wedding in Hawaii. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. She should totally get married in a bikini. If I looked this good, I would totally do that.
PS… People who are pregnant right now and due around the same time: Jessica, Kim Kardashian and Duchess Kate. EPIC TWINSIES.
Photos courtesy of Jessica?s Twitter.
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| | Jessica Simpson's Super Busty Tweet | | Added 12 years ago | Source: HollywoodTuna |
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I guess Jessica Simpson didn’t appreciate all the attention I gave her sister yesterday, because she sent out this busty Tweet. I’m no doctor, but judging from those baby bumps, I’d say she’s at least a few months along. And hey, if Jessica keeps this up, I’ll be following her pregnancy closer than People Magazine.
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| | Jessica Simpson shows off more than expected in a Hawaiian twit-pic | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Jessica Simpson has been tweeting some photos while she?s in Hawaii, on vacation with her family. The header photo is the one getting a lot of attention because? obviously. I have to defend Jessica Simpson a little bit, though. It?s not like she was taking selfies of just her rack, you know? Sure, she put on a barely-there bikini top and a cute cover-up and posed for a photo, and then she posted said photo even when she saw that her left b00b was making a run for it? but in her defense, it?s not as bad as it could be. I would be spilling out of that bikini and caftan too. The difference, I suppose, is that I wouldn?t post the photo on my Twitter. I do think Jess looks really cute, though ? I always think she looks so young and fresh without makeup.
Jessica tweeted this photo of herself and Eric a few days ago too:
You know what? I?m going all-in on my bet that they?re getting married in Hawaii. Like, within the next few days, we?ll have an announcement. Here?s the real question/bet though: will Eric shave for the Hawaiian wedding?
More photos of Eric and Jessica? Maxi is so adorable! She?s really starting to look like Jessica, isn?t she?
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Jessica?s Twitter.
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| | Jessica Simpson Beach Photos | | Added 12 years ago | Source: HollywoodTuna |
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It looks like the Simpson sisters took a family beach trip, because after the surprisingly hot pictures of Ashlee, here’s Jessica Simpson mostly covered up and not attempting any difficult maneuvers like her sister. Which is probably a good thing, considering it’s just been confirmed that she’s pregnant again. We wouldn’t want Jessica straining herself.
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| | Jessica Simpson going on 'haitus' from Weight Watchers during her pregnancy | | Added 12 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Here are some new photos of Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson in Oahu, Hawaii. Is that the same island where the Obamas were vacationing?! Imagine if Jessica Simpson ran into Pres. Obama. I would like to think that Jessica would try to hug him and tell him about her pregnancy. I would like to think that the president would listen too. Of course, Obama has already left Hawaii to return to Washington to work on the fiscal cliff mess. What was I talking about? Oh, right? Jessica Simpson and Eric. You know what? I?ve sort of gotten used to Eric, and I actually think he?s probably a decent, hands-on dad and he probably genuinely loves Jessica? but would it kill the guy to groom? Just a daily shave! Run a comb through his hair. Something.
Their Hawaiian vacation looks really nice. Peaceful. Relaxing. I think in 2013, I?m going to try to take a real vacation at some point. Maybe Hawaii?? There are rumors that Jessica and Eric are going to have a small, quick wedding while in Hawaii ? which I could totally see. I hope it hasn?t happened already. Maybe something on New Year?s Eve or New Year?s Day. They have a thing with the number “1? so maybe 1-1-13?
As for Jessica?s second pregnancy and her Weight Watchers endorsement ? well, WW has made lemonade out of the fart-covered lemons that Jessica handed them. Look at this breezy explanation for how everything is going down:
So much for rumors Weight Watchers will dump Jessica Simpson now that she’s pregnant again … the company is actually expanding her role in hocking the diet plan … even though she’s taking a hiatus from the diet regime.
W.W. just announced it will not only continue to run the ads touting Jessica’s alleged 50 lb weight loss … it will also push her new 30-second ad — released today — in which she announces her pregnancy.
Weight Watchers calls Jessica’s weight loss “successful” — notwithstanding the proof of performance ad showing Jessica substantially covered in a flannel shirt.
As for the future, Weight Watchers says Jessica “will not be following the program during the pregnancy while her weight and well-being are monitored by her obstetrician.”
Jessica says when she gives birth, she’s going back on the Weight Watchers diet.
[From TMZ]
So fancy! Jess is on ?hiatus? and she WILL come back after she pops out this second baby. This is totally a Weight Watchers Mafia move: it?s like they?re saying, ?We own you. You took the $4 million so NOW WE OWN YOU.? I wonder how many lawyers had to work on this wording.
Here are some videos of the newest WW commercial where Jessica admits she?s preggo. Sorry if the videos are wonky ? it?s nothing special, so you?re not missing anything.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
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| | Newly Pregnant Jessica Simpson Enjoys Holiday in Hawaii | | Added 12 years ago | Source: Celebrity Gossip |
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Just one day after announcing her second pregnancy to the world, Jessica Simpson and fianc Eric Johnson were spotted enjoying a romantic beach stroll in Hawaii (December 26).
The 32-year-old singer wore a pretty multicolored cover-up with a straw cowboy hat while she carried a jacket over her early baby bump and held tight to her man's hand.
On Christmas Day, the Weight Watchers spokeswoman confirmed the rumors, posting "Merry Christmas from my family to yours!" with a photo of her little girl, Maxwell on the beach with "Big Sis" drawn in the sand.
As previously reported by GossipCenter, the diet company had nothing but nice things to say for their spokesperson, stating, "It's wonderful news and we couldn't be happier for Jessica, Eric and big sister-to-be Maxwell. We've seen first-hand that Jessica has a refreshed outlook on food, activity and the importance of developing healthy habits, which we hope will guide her through this next pregnancy and beyond. She has come a long way and we know her story and success will continue to inspire others."
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