| | |  | Dane Cook News & Gossip | | Page 1 of 2 | 1 2  | |
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| | 50-year-old Dane Cook 'can't wait' to impregnate his 23-year-old fiancee | | Added 744 days ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Even by Dane Cook?s own squirrelly account, he likely met his fiancee Kelsi Taylor when she was an underage teenager. She was a friend of a friend, and Kelsi was brought along to Dane?s house for a ?game night.? She was probably 16 or 17 at the time, and he was in his 40s. They became official the second she turned 18 years old, and they?ve been together ever since. They live together, she?s a Pilates instructor and nutritionist and I hope she has her own friends. She?s now 23 years old and he?s 50 years old. He proposed to her over the summer and now he?s very eager to have children with his very young fiancee. From People?s exclusive:
He can?t wait to be a dad: I cant wait to be very honest with you. Im just excited at the possibility. Her sister just had her second baby and I love seeing her with the kid. She loves it and I love kids. When the time is right, well check it out.
What kind of parent he wants to be: I could see myself hopefully as the kind of dad that loves to listen, loves to be there, loves to collaborate, but still teach you to set those boundaries and only want to pull the best out of yourself. If I could implement that message. Isnt this the part now where you go, Thats not the kid you get, and you get something completely different? Youre on their journey and Im sure thats what it becomes.
His late father: I was just talking to Kelsie about it the other day, saying, I like that mix of the idea of theres fun, theres joy and energy, but you still want those boundaries. My dad was good at being the disciplinarian when he wasnt being fun, and I go, I think Id be like that. My dad could be a no bit, no-nonsense, dont be a talker, be a do-er.
Wedding planning: We dont have a date, but were moving towards [one]. We just want to enjoy this whole thing. It was also like, were engaged and then all this stuff is happening. Its kind of like, Lets finish work, and then we have some great travel plans through the fall and winter. I think were probably going to be right around next fall.
[From People]
I?m not an evil person, I swear, but I hope Kelsi dumps him before the wedding. I hope she has that moment of realization that she?s about to marry a 50-year-old with too much Botox. I hope she finds a good therapist too, because Dane Cook groomed her when she was a teenager. As for the rest of it? I hope he?s not pressuring her to have a baby before she?s ready. I know some 23-year-olds are ready and God bless. But that?s still super-young to be saddled with a 50-something husband and a baby.
Photos courtesy of WENN/Avalon and Instagram.
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| | Dane Cook: 'It's way cooler being Darth Vader than it is being Luke Skywalker' | | Added 5 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Dane Cook used to be the wrong kind of punchline his name was a short-hand for cheap, dumb, bro-comedy. He was a famous comedian who was famous for not being that funny. His heyday was probably? like, 2003-07, I guess? But he was still doing tours and comedy specials up until about five years ago. That?s when he mostly took a break, focused on getting therapy and cleaning up his life, editing out the users and criminals (like his brother, who embezzled millions of dollars from him). And now Dane Cook is back. He got a somewhat nice spread in the Hollywood Reporter about his ?comeback,? which involves a tour and some other stuff. You can read the Hollywood Reporter piece here he talks about Louis CK accusing him of joke-stealing, his 20-year-old girlfriend and a lot more. Some highlights:
He was one of the first comedians to use the internet to effectively promote himself: He promoted his stand-up performances first on sites like MySpace (I remember getting ready to play Madison Square Garden, I posted once on MySpace and without spending a dime on any promotion or advertising, we sold out) and Napster, then on his own website (Cook spent $35,000 to set it up, nearly every penny he had at the time).
He knew that people had strong feelings either way: One person would be like, Dane Cook, man, this guys funny! And then the next guy is like, Hes a douchebag! Nobody likes him! But I was almost giddy to be that guy. I was like, Sh-t, its way cooler being Darth Vader than it is being Luke Skywalker.
Louis CK accused him of joke-stealing in 2005: Louis C.K. publicly accused Cook of lifting material from his 2001 album, Live in Houston. Cook categorically denied the charges and wrote a letter to C.K. asking him to stop bad-mouthing him, which C.K. ignored. I think he knew that he could be more popular talking about why I shouldnt be popular, Cook says, offering his theory for why C.K. made the accusations. It helped him, it really did. It was like he was on a press tour because of it.
What he thinks of the accusations against Louis CK now: The comic had tried to repair relations with C.K., appearing as himself on C.K.s FX show in 2011, but the results had been mixed. I wanted a couple of things tweaked [in C.K.'s script], Cook says. But he was not going to change anything. It was what it was. Still, when reporters called Cook in 2017 looking to see if he wanted to dish out any payback [to CK], he kept quiet. People were like, What do you think about this guy? he says. But I didnt speak out. All I can say is that nothing Louis did to me is anywhere near what happened between him and those women. Yeah, it sucked what happened to me, but I knew what I did and didnt do. That said, Cook does twist the knife some with a C.K./karma joke in his current arsenal ? a quip that got one of the biggest reactions during his Laugh Factory set.
His 20-year-old girlfriend: We laugh a lot about it. Were not afraid to goof on [that perception]. But I have never had somebody in my life who is so kind and caring. I hope it goes the distance.
[From The Hollywood Reporter]
?All I can say is that nothing Louis did to me is anywhere near what happened between him and those women.? He came so close to actually saying something meaningful here, I wonder why he didn?t? He could have said, ?Yeah, what happened between Louis and I was awful, but it?s not as awful as using his power and authority to sexually harass multiple women and attempt to derail their careers if they spoke out.? I get the feeling that Dane?s bro-outlook is still on full display, but whatever. Just don?t abuse women, and just don?t be a raging ahole, let?s start there. If Dane can manage that, then so be it. Let him have his comeback.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
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| | Star: Dane Cook is so Botoxed, 'his eyebrows can't move properly' | | Added 8 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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I haven?t paid much attention to Dane Cook in recent years. In fact, in the past two years, we?ve only written about him twice ? once when he was rumored to be hooking up with Miley Cyrus and once when he admitted to Andy Cohen that he slept with ?a few hundred? groupies in his earlier days as a comedian. Both of those stories are seemingly
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| | Dane Cook slept with 'a few hundred' groupies in his younger days of college tours | | Added 10 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Dane Cook and Candy Crowley (CNN journalist) were on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen last night. This is about Dane, even though Candy made some news on the show when she said it?s a very real possibility that Hillary Clinton won?t run for president. So, Dane played ?Plead the Fifth? which is where Cohen asks his guests the really interesting personal questions. Here?s the
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| | Dane Cook Given a TV Show | | Added 13 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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NBC announced today that they’ve signed a deal with Dane Cook to develop a half-hour sitcom starring Mr. Superfinger slated to launch next Fall. Cook recently guest starred on Louie last month where he and Louis C.K. addressed the joke-stealing controversy.
What is this? TDW adds that multiple networks wanted to sign Cook with NBC ending up on top. There. Is. No. God!
If he makes this sitcom loosely based on his life as a comedian in LA, I might have to salute him for being the greatest irl troll ever.
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| | New theory: Jessica Simpson was dumped b/c she was drunk and/or fat | | Added 15 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Earlier this week, we covered the report from Star Magazine about a possible Jessica Simpson tell-all autobiography. Allegedly, Jessica could be dishing the dirt on all of her boyfriends and hook-ups. At the time, we heard a little about what Jessica could possibly say about Tony Romo, John Mayer and her brief hook-ups with Jude Law and Dane Cook. I wondered if Johnny Knoxville and Adam Levine were included in this little tabloid story, and they are!
The new issue of Star has information on Knoxville, Levine and? wait for it? Bam Margera. On Johnny Knoxville: ?She and Johnny hung out together a lot during the movie. Johnny was the strangest guy?. He believed in space aliens and talked to his muscles, encouraging them to grow. He also liked to be spanked and give spankings!? Dude? I?m so sorry I asked. On Bam Margera: ?They drank a lot together, and Jessica will recount a number of wild times.? My guess? This section of the book will not include all of those times she blacked out and Bam? nevermind. On Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5): ?[He was] incredibly sweet?They used to stay together at the Chateau Marmont together, drinking and laughing. But Adam couldn?t handle the attention that came with dating Jessica.? Haha, Adam Levine couldn?t ?handle? Jessica. That?s hilarious. As for Tony Romo? Well, it seems Star has a hot tip about Romo and a full-length mirror:
?Tony liked Jessica to dress up as a cheerleader but with garter belts and stockings and high heels,? says the source. ?He also liked bringing food into lovemaking, like in the movie 9 Weeks. He would feed her grapes and strawberries in bed.?
?[Tony] always wanted her to tell him how manly he was,? said a source.
But both Tony and Jessica liked to party hard - and for Jessica, all that drinking packed on the pounds. So insiders say she?ll dish about how self-conscious the excess weight made her feel.
?Tony is extremely vain,? says another source. ?I?m sure Jess will spill about how he?d sometimes stand in front of the mirror, analyzing his naked body. Eventually, Jess became extremely sensitive about her own ballooning figure. She thinks that was the beginning of the end.?
[From Star Magazine, print edition, August 24 2009]
Again with the neverending debate about exactly how and why Tony Romo dumped poor Jessica. I?ve never been a fan of explaining their split on Jessica?s yo-yo weight, probably because I didn?t really think she gained that much. She put on an extra 10 or 15 pounds for a few months, and then lost it. It wasn?t the end of the world, and she was by no means ?fat?.
Now Fox News Pop Tarts has another explanation - Jessica Simpson is a big lush, and Tony couldn?t handle her ?out of control? drinking and behavior. Also: when Jessica got hammered, she ?embarrassed? Tony in front of his friends:
Romantic relations between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo appear to be absolutely done and dusted, but according to insiders, the surprise break-up was largely a result of peer pressure from Romo?s pals and Jess?s love of adult beverages.
“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and the look on Tony?s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”
We?re also told that the Dallas Cowboy really did love the pop princess and “fought for her” with his skeptical friends, but in the end, it got to a point where it just didn?t make sense for him to stay in the relationship.
But in Simpson?s defense, a friend from her camp told Tarts that she doesn?t drink too much, and that there were numerous issues going on between them before Romo said his goodbyes.
“She was devastated and it did come as a shock, however,” added the source.
[From Fox News]
While I?ll buy that Jessica gets ?loud and obnoxious? when drunk, I don?t really think Jessica has a problem. Of course, she looked utterly wasted at Ken Paves? party last week, but I kind of think that was an isolated incident. I wouldn?t mind getting drunk with Jessica, actually. I bet she?s a pretty fun drunk. You know alcohol would make her say even dumber, crazier things.
Jessica Simpson is shown outside Katsuya with Ken Paves and her sister, Ashlee on 8/1/09. Credit: Fame Pictures and WENN.com
More Photos Here
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| | Dane Cook Pokes Fun At Vanessa Hudgens Over Nude Photos | | Added 15 years ago | Source: MTV |
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'Girl, you gots to keep your clothes on!' Cook says at Teen Choice Awards.By Jocelyn Vena
Dane Cook at the Teen Choice Awards
Photo: FOX
Dane Cook may have been selected to present Megan Fox and Robert Pattinson with the Choice Hotties award at the Teen Choice Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday night — but Cook took it upon himself to be the man to address Vanessa Hudgens' most recent round of nude photos, which hit the Internet last week.
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| | No one thinks Dane Cook is funny | | Added 15 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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Dane Cook was booed at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards on Sunday after joking, “Vanessa Hudgens! – Girl you got to keep your clothes on!” Cook was presenting the Choice Hottie Awards to Robert Pattinson and Megan Fox.
Maybe Dane didn’t realize he was at an awards show created for 14-year-olds who idolize Miley Cyrus and High School Musical. Even the mere mention of a blemish thought to be seen on Zac Efron’s face causes the accuser to be beaten mercilessly with lip gloss and compacts. Edgy jokes for them revolve around how Miley Cyrus almost showed up to prom in her pj’s.
Then again, maybe Dane Cook just isn’t funny which is the case 100% of the time. “Girl you got to keep your clothes on!” Haha, get it? Because Hudgens had her nude photos leaked on the web for a second time. How timely! Who did he steal this joke from?
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| | Douchebaggery runs in the Dane Cook family | | Added 15 years ago | Source: The Blemish |
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Dane Cook’s half-brother, Darryl McCauley, has been in charge of Dane’s finances since the 90’s, but today he’ll in all likelihood no longer hold that esteemed position. That’s because according to TMZ, Darryl was arrested and charged with three counts of larceny and forgery. Darryl allegedly faked a $3 million check and gave himself an early or late Christmas present. The Boston Globe goes into more detail saying Darryl bilked Cook out of his money over the past 18 months.
As business manager, he would manage his client’s financial affairs, including the receipt and payment of bills, and the receipt and deposit of income and revenue from various businesses his client controlled.
Between July 2007 and December 2008, prosecutors say, McCauley stole millions of dollars from his former client’s business accounts by transferring funds to his own personal accounts. In one instance, he allegedly forged Cook’s signature for a $3 million check from the entertainer’s account to himself.
McCauley used the money for personal use, Coakley’s office said, and an investigation is ongoing.
Darryl probably didn’t even need to steal from Dane. They seemed pretty close so Dane would have given him whatever he needed. Maybe not $3 million or however much he was stealing, but maybe another cheeseburger to go with his extra value meal. But absolutely no supersizing. Let’s not get too crazy.
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| | Even Dane Cook's Brother Hates His Guts | | Added 15 years ago | Source: Yeeeah |
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Hi guys, it’s Sarah today. I live in Minnesota and it’s -15 Fahrenheit here right now, so I would be at least halfway inclined to believe I’ve been cursed by fate to suffer, if not for the upliftingly hilarious fact that Dane Cook’s brother is being arraigned today for stealing a shit ton of money from him. From the Boston Globe:
The older half-brother of Dane Cook was charged yesterday with stealing millions of dollars from the Massachusetts-based actor-comedian over the past 18 months while serving as his personal business manager.
Darryl McCauley, 43, is scheduled to be arraigned this morning in Woburn District Court on charges of larceny, forgery, and larceny by continuous scheme. He was arrested at his Wilmington home yesterday by State Police.
I goddamn hate Dane Cook because he is one of the unfunniest people on the planet, so each and every news story about misery befalling his douchetard ass warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart. The only way this would be better is if he were hit by lightning at some point, or maybe if he got evicted again.
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