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| | Chrissy Teigen on sharing her photos: 'The thoughts of others do not matter to me' | | Added 4 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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Earlier this month, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend shared the tragic news that they?d lost their third child at 20 weeks into the pregnancy. Chrissy had been diagnosed with a partial placenta abruption and although they?d monitored her closely and performed several blood transfusions, the pregnancy was ultimately not viable, and the traumatic moment came for the family to say goodbye. Chrissy made a public announcement along with sharing some intimate photos that documented their grief. People had many strong feelings about those photos and let Chrissy and her grieving family know about them. Tuesday, Chrissy posted a deeply emotional essay documenting her experience. She described her gratitude to everyone who has reached out to her and shown her kindness. She detailed what happened in detail and why she both took and posted the photos. And she very plainly explained that she does not care what anyone else thinks about the photos or her posting them.
For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ?you probably won?t read this, but??. I can assure you, I did.
After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming ? it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn?t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either. We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn?t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.
I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn?t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.
I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it?s something you wouldn?t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren?t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.
[From Medium]
Most of the time, I think other people?s opinions do matter to Chrissy. However, I do think she is speaking her truth here, those photos were a part of her grieving process that she doesn?t even fully understand yet. Later in her essay, Chrissy speaks about some of the moments of kindness she?s been shown: a checkout lady putting flowers in her cart and people pressing notes in her hand. Chrissy expressed sadness for all the women going through similar situation who will never know the support she is. On their behalf, Chrissy asked, ?I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won?t pour them out at all.?
I think Chrissy?s essay speaks to grieving in a larger sense. There isn?t a right or wrong way for a person to grieve, but people will constantly try to make us feel as though there is. What they are really saying is, ?you are not grieving the way I would in this situation.? I was truly moved by Chrissy?s photos when I saw them, even though I did not understand taking them, because I don?t think I would. But I read so many of your comments behind having grief photos and it became very clear how they serve in the process. It doesn?t have to be my process; it just has to help the person suffering. Chrissy reached many, many people by putting her loss out there like this. She paid a huge price for doing so at an incredibly vulnerable time. I think she knew she would, too. I?m grateful that ultimately, she knows she reached those she wanted to, and I hope that helps her move further in healing.
Photo credit: Instagram and WENN/Avalon
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| | George Clooney: 'It doesn't hurt to lose. It hurts to not try.' | | Added 4 years ago | Source: CeleBitchy |
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George Clooney is currently promoting Midnight Sky, which he stars in, directed and produced. Good timing that his virtual promotion is happening just before the election, because that?s mostly what he wants to talk about. George spoke to Vanity Fair about growing up a Democrat in Kentucky, fighting losing battles, and why everyone should want to be the man in the arena. I?ll admit it? George?s words moved me. What he says about fighting losing battles is so important, as is what he says about trying and failing.
Why he?s supporting Amy McGrath?s Senate run in his home state of Kentucky: ?Here?s the idea behind supporting someone even though you?re going to lose. I?ve been arrested in the Sudanese embassy in Washington D.C. I?ve been fighting to take [former Sudanese president] Omar al-Bashir to the ICC for years. All of those things, every one of them, was futile. I got an award by the Nobel Laureates at one point. There?s the Dalai Lama standing there, handing you this plaque, and my speech was about how we?ve never won. We?ve never succeeded, we?ve never accomplished. People are still dying in Sudan, and Darfur, and South Sudan. Every speech was: ?We?re not winning, but that doesn?t mean we don?t keep the fight up. It doesn?t mean you don?t keep doing it.? Now, a few weeks ago, I saw Omar al-Bashir in the docket, and he?s in jail. Yes, it took 20 years, but guess what?it happened. Of course you fight the losing fights, and of course you go into them fully expecting that you?re going to lose this fight. But that?s how democracy works. You fight it, and fight it, and at some point it changes. It doesn?t hurt to lose. It hurts to not try.?
His inspiration is Theodore Roosevelt?s 1910 ?Man in the Arena? speech: ?All he says is: get in. You get your face dirty; you?re going to lose. And when you lose, people are going to stand out there and make fun of you. The people out there, doing that [mockery], will never know the agony of defeat, but they?ll never know the great victories. They?ll be the timid souls on the sideline. That?s the truth. You gotta get in; you gotta mix it up. I have always been very involved, politically. I believe in it. I think it?s your civic duty to do.?
Whether American division has ever been this bad: ?It?s going to take a while. We always think that every time there is division in the United States, that it?s never been this bad. I say, go watch the documentary about Bobby Kennedy on Netflix. I think it?s six episodes. Just watch how the White House had buses parked around it to protect it from people being able to get up close to it. And people being shot in the streets and on campuses, particularly in ?65 and ?66 and ?68, and how deeply torn and violent and angry we were. Much more so than now, even though we see a lot of anger. And yes, it?s amplified by your ability to do all this on the internet and misinformation you?re getting. There was still a lot of misinformation and still a lot of anger. There?s certainly no more anger or resentment than when we actually killed 400,000 Americans in a civil war.?
On the Confederate flag: ?When I was growing up, I didn?t pay much attention to the Confederate flag. Hell, The Dukes of Hazzard had it on the top of their car. But the truth of the matter is, if I was Black I would have known exactly what it is. It shows you how different the experiences are. We were big liberals in Kentucky, you know, and still we were missing the point. I wasn?t flying a Confederate flag, for chrissakes, but now you look at it and go, ?Okay, guys, you?re defending the flag of a group of people, an entire section of this country that were traitors to the country, who went to war against our country and lost. With that flag! And they went to war for slavery?and lost.? So you don?t just get to fly that fking flag.?
We?ll survive this moment: ?I look at it as this is one of our worst moments. It?s not our worst. We will survive it. We survived the others. In general, what?s going to have to happen is, bit by bit, the most extreme of these groups will fall by the wayside and we?ll get tired of hate, as we do. We have found ways around it. I think we need to solve deeply ingrained injustices. There is not a single person that can actually look at facts and think that if you?re Black in the United States, your life, particularly in the justice system, is equal. Sentences are longer, they?re harsher, the paroles are longer, the arrest rate is higher. There?s no version of it that is equitable. We?re going to have to adjust these things. It can?t just be words.?
What Trump should have done in March about the pandemic: ?If Trump had come out early on and said, ?Listen, this is bad. It goes through the air??which we now know he knew in March??everybody should wear a mask.? If he did it, and everybody did it, there wouldn?t be one single MAGA person in the world saying we shouldn?t wear a mask. They wear seatbelts and they wear helmets on their motorcycles??
[From Vanity Fair]
For years, people have said that George would eventually ?get into politics? and run for office. The man is 59 years old and he has a bad back and more money than he knows what to do with. He?s not going to run for office. BUT HE SHOULD. I would vote for him. I loved his summary of the ?Man in the Arena? speech (which is technically the ?Citizenship in a Republic? speech). And this: ?Of course you fight the losing fights, and of course you go into them fully expecting that you?re going to lose this fight. But that?s how democracy works. You fight it, and fight it, and at some point it changes. It doesn?t hurt to lose. It hurts to not try.? The reason I know Clooney?s not going to run for political office is because he would have saved that line for his stump speech.
Also: I really appreciate how George is capable of revising his opinions and changing with the times and admitting mistakes without feeling the need to center himself in the narrative. The way he talks about the Confederate flag and what he thought in the past versus what he thinks now is a perfect example of ?how to be a white man and talk about Culture War issues.?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
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